In fact, it was mid-morning before most of the journalists put in an appearance. But well ahead of the pack was Otto Chriek of the Ankh-Morpork Times, who was always first on the scene.[50]

As for the rest of the press gang, they arrived at cross purposes, all of them expecting the others to tell them what was going on.

Mr Forefather was making hay by making bacon butties while his wife was frying eggs and the obligatory slice.

Moist put the word out that, while of course the railway was in no way involved, the owners were coming to see the accident site for themselves and would be happy to answer questions. By the time Harry King, Simnel and Thunderbolt arrived, Moist could see Forefather carefully raising the prices on his beers as, gradually, the pub filled from across the Sto Plains.

Moist had already gleaned from Mrs Forefather that the brothers’ old mum was being comforted by friends back in her own home, a short walk from the pub, and he was careful to see that no mention of this or the current whereabouts of the unfortunate Wesley brothers was made to the gang of journalists. And he surprised himself by realizing that this was a sensible and humanitarian thing to do, some of the press gang being the sort who would most definitely say things like, ‘Well now, Mrs Wesley, how did you feel when you found out that both of your sons had been melted?’

As the press seized on the new arrivals, Moist, like a chess grandmaster, tried to keep his king, that would be Sir Harry King, away from the worst questions and instead played his shining knight, Mr Dick Simnel. He was learning a lot from Mr Simnel. They faced him with questions like, ‘What do you say to people who think that live steam will kill everybody in the end?’

To which Dick’s answer was, ‘I don’t know, sir, I’ve never met anyone who thought that. Steam is very dangerous if you don’t know what you’re doing and I feel sorry for them poor boys.’

Hardwick of the Pseudopolis Daily Press said, ‘I hear your own engine killed someone the night before last. What do you have to say about that, Mister Simnel?’

Before Dick could speak Thunderbolt came down like a judge and said, ‘The person in question was clearly trying to sabotage the locomotive and while we naturally regret the fatality he was in a place where he shouldn’t have been, doing something that he shouldn’t have done. It is evident that he entered the engine shed through a skylight, which seems to show lawful business was not on his mind. His death, alas, was self-inflicted.’

‘And what about Mister Simnel senior?’ said Hardwick. ‘Was his death self-inflicted?’