Chapters (24)
‘I know you’ve done everything possible,’ he said quietly. ‘You’ve been very kind. Not just to Mrs West, but to me, too.’
He looked at her. Framed in the doorway, she was as fragile and delicate as a painting by Botticelli. He found it hard to grasp how someone so feminine and attractive could be so spiritual. If she stayed here in this hospital in Panama, she would almost certainly be dead within two or three years. She might not even survive as long as that.
‘I was wondering if you’d ever consider leaving this place,’ he said.
‘Why should I do that? My life is here.’
‘I know. And your death will be here, too.’
‘You’re concerned about my safety?’ Sister Agnes smiled abstractedly. ‘You’re very thoughtful,’ she said.
‘But?’
‘But I couldn’t ever leave the hospital. This is where God needs me.’
‘Even though you probably won’t live to see twenty-five?’
‘If that’s what the Lord wills.’
Collis looked out over the garden behind her. He knew damned well that it was no use arguing. It was ridiculous even to suppose that he could have persuaded her to leave. What had it to do with him, anyway, whether she lived or died? What had any of these people’s lives to do with him? A parakeet settled on the branch of a leafy plant outside, and whistled in the humid morning air. Collis looked back at Sister Agnes and shrugged.
‘I’m beginning to grow very fond of you,’ he said in his softest voice. ‘And I’m not trying to flirt with you. I had a stupid crazy idea that I could somehow make you realise that there’s a whole lot more to the world than what goes on here. You’ve already done more in two years than most people achieve in a lifetime. God can’t be anything but grateful. Why don’t you give it up while you’re still young, and still alive?’
‘You mustn’t fear for me,’ Sister Agnes replied. ‘God and Our Lady look after me always.’
She paused, and then added, ‘I’m an only daughter, you know. My father runs a small patisserie in Lokeren. They were so proud of me, my parents, when I joined the order. They tried to persuade me not to, of course, but once they knew that I was determined, they were proud.’
Collis took her hand. ‘I’m proud, too,’ he told her. ‘I didn’t really expect you to change your mind. But I hope you’ll remember that I tried, and that you won’t think too badly of me.’
‘I have to go now,’ said Sister Agnes. ‘We have three new sisters from France here today. They came on the train from Aspinwall. They have to be greeted, and shown what they will have to do.’
She kept hold of Collis’s hand, and she stood on tiptoes and kissed his cheek, her white starched coif touching his shoulder.