But now … goddess, he knew he would find nothing but misery in the wilds. He could not even remember what being content felt like anymore. There was only this chasm that existed in the space between being with her and without her. She had stretched him beyond what he had thought himself capable of, and now the world was brighter and bigger and more dangerous, but sweeter too, and once a life had been expanded as his had been, he did not think it could be shrunk down to what it once was.

But the guilt she felt? That … that was something he knew intimately. And he knew how to deal with it too.

He stood, squaring off in front of her. She had to lean back into the sofa to see him, and when she did, her eyes had gone wide and wary, as if she was waiting for him to pronounce some terrible punishment.

“Are you one of us?” Kiran asked.

“What?” Her head tilted slightly, wide eyes blinking.

“Are you one of us? Our crew? Would you fight by our side if we needed it? Would you provide help if we asked? Would you risk yourself for one of us?”

“Of course I would.”

“Then why would I hate you? You could have died at any moment you were with us. There are a thousand ways to die in the wildlands. Attacked by an animal. A fever. Bandits. Not to mention the storms. We take risks. It is what we do. And all of us are prepared for the day one of those risks does not pay off. Jinx made a choice, and this time the risk won out.”

“How can you be so casual about this? I thought Jinx was like family to you.”

“Close to,” Kiran affirmed. “My point is … accepting the bad days is part of being a hunter. If each of us held on to the blame every time something went wrong in the wilds, we would never make it past a city gate again.”

“But we are not in the wilds.”

“That’s true. But it’s also not over. You said you are one of us. There will come a time to get her back. I do not know when. And I do not know how. But I know we will keep going until we figure it out, and I know you will be right there beside us, novie. And that is all I need to know.”

Kiran finished his speech with his arms folded, and with her in his peripheral vision. His heart thumped unsteadily as he waited for her to respond. Normally, he knew how to lead his team, knew how to soothe the fears of a conflicted novice, but things were so much more complex with Aurora.