Back Rabble in Arms
Chapters (75)
  1. Cover
  2. Title Page
  3. Copyright
  4. Dedication
  5. BIBLIOGRAPHICAL NOTE
  6. ILLUSTRATIONS
  7. I
  8. II
  9. III
  10. IV
  11. V
  12. VI
  13. VII
  14. VIII
  15. IX
  16. X
  17. XI
  18. XII
  19. XIII
  20. XIV
  21. XV
  22. XVI
  23. XVII
  24. XVIII
  25. XIX
  26. XX
  27. XXI
  28. XXII
  29. XXIII
  30. XXIV
  31. XXV
  32. XXVI
  33. XXVII
  34. XXVIII
  35. XXIX
  36. XXX
  37. XXXI
  38. XXXII
  39. XXXIII
  40. XXXIV
  41. XXXV
  42. XXXVI
  43. XXXVII
  44. XXXVIII
  45. XXXIX
  46. XL
  47. XLI
  48. XLII
  49. XLIII
  50. XLIV
  51. XLV
  52. XLVI
  53. XLVII
  54. XLVIII
  55. XLIX
  56. L
  57. LI
  58. LII
  59. LIII
  60. LIV
  61. LV
  62. LVI
  63. LVII
  64. LVIII
  65. LIX
  66. LX
  67. LXI
  68. LXII
  69. LXIII
  70. LXIV
  71. LXV
  72. LXVI
  73. LXVII
  74. LXVIII
  75. LXIX

Ellen shook her head. “It’s true the wound in his body isn’t a bad one, but the one in his mind is. In his mind? Ah, in his heart, poor boy! In his heart!”

“Yes,” I said bitterly. “Heart, reputation and body too: he has wounds enough! Where is she who put them there, Ellen?”

Ellen’s voice was as bitter as mine. “Where she’ll not help him or us. Lanaudiere went back to Canada long ago; and before the last battle he sent for her, and she went. I heard her talking with your brother, that night when she was going—I heard him speaking hoarsely; heard her tell him he was tiresome and had tired her a long time. After that he understood what had happened to him, and why it was, and so he didn’t want to live. He tried to cross to the American lines, and the British sentries shot him. I’ve been with him ever since, trying to make him want to live, but I can’t. You’ll have to do that, if you can.”

In spite of the tragic pictures that came into my mind at Ellen’s words, I felt a little thrill of pride in Nathaniel. At least he had tried to come back to us. Whatever might happen to him now, I said to myself, his wound was an honorable one.

“So she told him he was tiresome.”

Ellen nodded. “She called him gauche. His innocence, she said, was painful to her. It was no longer refreshing to deceive him.”

It seemed strange to me that as she spoke, my mind, instead of being filled with the two people dearest to me in the world, and now close to me after a long absence, should be filled with a picture of the woman I hated—Marie de Sabrevois. I say “hated,” and yet I think that word doesn’t express the feeling I had for her, which was a curious, bitter, poisoned kind of admiration. She’d been too much for us all—too much, years ago, for Nason: too much now for Ellen, for me, and alas and alas, for Nathaniel. One might even say she’d been too much for Arnold and Schuyler. She had helped do them infinite harm. She’d harmed us all: damaged everything she’d touched; and yet she went scatheless. I seemed to see her, perfumed and elegant, in Quebec—nay, in London again, and Paris, always evil, always plotting mischief, disaster, tragedy for helpless victims.

My thoughts turned to the last time I had seen her, in the tent at Buttonmould Bay, blue-eyed, golden-haired, contemptuous, but for the moment silent and wary because of dangerous information I pretended to possess.