After we’d been courting for around four months, I plucked up the courage to invite Albie round to meet my family. My dad was on his best behaviour, which I found weird, but he knew of Albie and was keen to meet him properly. As for my mum and Viv, they’d been pestering me to bring him home for months.

My mum liked Albie on sight, thought he was charming. My dad got on exceptionally well with him too. But Vivvy played up. She spent the whole time Albie was there with a face like a smacked arse and when she wasn’t asking stupid questions, she was being downright rude. In the end my dad sent her to bed and apologized to Albie. ‘Younger sister syndrome. The green-eyed monster,’ he explained.

Albie just laughed Viv’s antics off, but I was furious and confronted her the next day. ‘Don’t like him,’ was the only explanation I got before my sister stomped off. I didn’t bother arguing with her after that. Mum hit the nail on the head when she said, ‘Her nose has been put out of joint.’

Mrs O’Leary liked Albie too. ‘He’s handsome and he’s kind, Queenie. I could sense that the moment he walked in. He’ll never lay a hand on you, believe me, and I’m a good judge of character,’ said Mary, clasping her rosary beads. ‘I know you had your heart set on our Daniel, but you let that boy go now, Queenie.’

Like any couple, Albie and I had our ups and downs. One night he put his hand on my right breast and I responded by slapping him around the face and not speaking to him for the best part of a week.

Mary had told me, ‘Make Albie wait until he marries you, love. Get that ring on your finger first, otherwise my boys will be after him.’

‘But what’s it like, Mary? You know, properly – not what happened to me before. If I marry Albie, I’ll need to know what to do.’

‘Lie back and think of Ireland – or England in your case – darlin’. Sex is only enjoyable for men. No pleasure for us women. But it provides us with the biggest gift of all: children. Where would I be without my two boys? You’re a beautiful young woman, Queenie, and this is your time to shine. Don’t be worrying about that Doreen. As I’ve told you before, lushes are only good for one thing to men. Sex. Albie’s taken with you. You’d have handsome children with him, let me tell ya. I’d snap him up if I were you, providing he treats you right, of course.’

So that was that. The end of my sex education – and I was still none the wiser. There were so many questions I wanted to ask, but I couldn’t.

Nobody was more surprised than me when Terry Marney got down on one knee and proposed to Aggie Brown on her birthday. We were in the Beehive at the time. Aggie squealed with delight, threw her arms around Terry’s neck and shrieked, ‘Yes!’