“But what?” Surreal snapped. “If you had gone home, you wouldn’t have had to whore for food and shelter. If you had gotten out of Terreille, you wouldn’t have died so damn young. What reason is good enough to balance those things?”

“I loved my father,” Titian said softly. “And I loved my brothers. Rape is punishable by execution, Surreal. If I had gone home as soon as I escaped from Kartane, my father and brothers would have gone to Hayll to kill him.”

Surreal stared at her. “How in the name of Hell did they expect to get past all of Dorothea’s guards in order to get to Kartane?”

“They would have died,” Titian said simply. “And I didn’t want my father and brothers to die. Can you understand that?”

“ Not really, since I’ve spent most of my life preparing for the day when I can kill Kartane. Now, if it had been your mother…” Surreal tried to smile and couldn’t. “What do you think your father would have said about your choice?”

Titian’s smile was rueful. “I know what he said. He was in the Dark Realm for a little while before he returned to the Darkness. But he lived the full span of his years, Surreal, and my brothers raised children who never would have been born.” She paused. “And if I had chosen differently, you wouldn’t have been in Chaillot thirteen years ago, and we would have lost the greatest Queen the Blood has ever known.”

“And if you hadn’t ended up in Terreille, under Kartane, you would have been a Queen and a Black Widow.”

“I still am a Queen and a Black Widow,” Titian snapped. “When Kartane broke me, he severed me from the strength that would have been mine, but he couldn’t take away what I am.”

“I’m sorry,” Surreal said, not sure how to express regret without giving insult.

“Don’t shoulder regrets, little witch,” Titian said gently as she got to her feet. “And don’t shoulder the burden of anyone’s actions but your own.” She held out her hand. “Come on. You’ll need your wits about you if you’re sparring with Lucivar tomorrow.”

Surreal rose wearily and followed Titian. Between that scene with Vania at midday, the extra workout with Falonar, and coping with the aftermath of Jaenelle’s fury, she was more than ready to crawl into bed. She had hugged more distressed males that day than she had in her entire life. Which reminded her of something else. “How do I deal with the male relatives I’ve suddenly acquired?”