"Quit the bullshitting, Stace. This is all a big smokescreen. You keep acting like you've only had the back pain for the past two days when you've complained of it for weeks. You should have had the docs take a look while you were in the hospital."

"It wasn't hurting me then."

"Oh, for heaven's sake. You know what? This is called 'denial.' This is you trying to minimize a problem that could be damn serious. Hell, give me the gal's name and I'll call her myself."

"No, you won't."

"Then you call."

"I will. I was going to do that."

"Now."

"Con, cut it out! It's past five. She's probably left for the day."

"Then call the service, leave CC's number, and have her paged. We can wait. You don't call her, I will. I'm sick of hearing you bellyache."

"You don't even know her name."

"I'll find out."

"Don't be ridiculous."

"Quit arguing. Maybe she'll give you some Valium to help you sleep at night."

Stacey shook his head. "I hate making a fool of myself because of you." Despite his grumbling and protests, he did go off to find a phone.

Dolan and I sat without looking at each other. I didn't like the sound of it any more than he did. Finally, I said, "Are the two of you okay? You seem testy."

"We're fine. He's just pissing me off. It's not about his back. The man's depressed. He thinks the cancer's spread and that's why he doesn't want to get it checked."

"I missed that, I guess. He seemed fine as far as I could tell. I mean, aside from his back."

"That's because he puts on an act for your benefit. You should've heard him before you showed. The shit's wearing him down. H he'd had a gun on him, he'd have blown his brains out. He's that close." Dolan held up his thumb and index finger a quarter of an inch apart.

"You're not serious."

"I am. He wasn't even going to do the chemo until I talked him into it. As far as he's concerned, this is the end of the line so why play it out? Get the damn thing over with is his attitude."

"But suppose the cancer's moved into his bones?"

"Now, damn it, don't you start. Don't be so negative."

"I'm just saying I can understand where he's coming from."

"Well, keep your opinion to yourself."

"My opinion's not relevant. He can do anything he wants. It's his life." "Wrong. He could use a pep talk. He needs someone to make him realize how selfish it is."

"To kill himself? How so?"

"People who commit suicide are the ultimate narcissists. What makes him think everything revolves around him? I'm in this, too.

Thirty years down the drain and all because he's a cowardly damn chickenshit and won't see this through."

"But what if he's terminal? I don't understand what you want."