She had wanted to speak to Kumaresan about her day, but he was in no state to listen to her. He was so drunk that his neck couldn’t seem to support the weight of his head. He did all he could to distract her from his state—he cajoled and begged, but it only made her cry. She did not have the strength to pick a fight with him. She consoled herself with the thought that he had been very resilient so far, and that it was only now that his inner anxieties and struggles were becoming more manifest. If this soda business plan worked out, things would soon be all right. It was only when you had some money in your hand that people respected you. He had some friends in Kundroor who could help him start the business. He often said, ‘What would I do if I didn’t have these friends?’

Though he tried to hide it from her, Saroja could tell that something in him had come undone after that fateful visit to his grandparents’ home. He had expected that his relatives would scold him for his marriage but not actually refuse to help him. He could not believe that they had chased him away. The day they returned from there, Saroja found it impossible to draw him out of his silence. She did not know how to rescue him from the crushing disappointment he was feeling; she did not have words strong enough to do that.

She saw her own assurances failing and crumbling in the face of his troubles while the words that everyone aimed at them continued to land on their targets with great strength and force. Perhaps because she stayed put here on the rock, she was spared the ordeal of encountering too many people. But he roamed around, meeting a lot of people every day. He had no choice but to respond to their invasive queries. To brave their scorn and laughter. Yet, all this while, he had not given her even a hint of these underlying troubles.

But the stench of arrack laid bare the extent of his inner turmoil. She could not tell him anything now. She stopped crying and looked at him. In the light of the lamp, his face was a picture of sadness. She held it tenderly and pulled him close to her chest. It seemed as though he was weeping. Gently caressing his head, she said, ‘Don’t cry. I am here for you.’ Her words gave him something to hold on to. He embraced her tightly, with the fear-filled force of a child who grabs on to his mother, and his whimpers grew louder.