On one such night, he did not even lift his head to look at Saroja. She tried to engage him in conversation, but the only responses she got were distracted, defeated monosyllables. It scared her, because he was all she had. What would she do if he too turned away from her? He had never been this way before. No matter how exhausted he was after a day’s work, his face usually broke into a smile as soon as he laid eyes on her. She never had any reason to think that his wellspring of affection for her was beginning to run dry—at least, not yet. Even with the entire village against her, she could keep the spark of her life aflame with the strength he gave her. With just one kiss, he could unburden himself and reassure her. He could carry her in his arms like a piece of cotton, banishing the day’s woes. But what had happened to him now?

Not knowing what to do, she spent the following day just like she spent her nights—after sitting under the tree next to the rock, she lay tossing and turning on the cot inside the hut. Having someone drop by just to make fun of her or hurl abuses at her would be preferable to this isolation, she thought restlessly. Even a visit from Vellapayyan would be welcome—anyone, as long as it kept her from worrying about her husband. But there were no visitors that day. It was only when Kumaresan returned at night that Saroja’s day dawned. But seeing him so dejected, sitting with his head bowed, his hand reaching distractedly for the food on his plate, she could not help but burst into tears. When he realized why she was crying, he came and sat next to her.

‘Don’t cry,’ he coaxed, bringing his face next to hers.

That was when she smelled the stench. Until that moment, she had never smelled arrack on him. She did not know that he drank alcohol. Was this a new habit? Everything about his place was foreign to her, and now he too was appearing in a new light. What else would she have to see? The thought only made her weep more.

‘I was feeling very sad. That’s why I drank a little. Only once in a while,’ he blabbered incoherently.

She felt as though all her certainties were collapsing. What would happen if things continued like this? Suddenly, she removed the gold chain from around her neck and gave it to him. It was two sovereigns’ worth. ‘If you need money for the shop,’ she said, crying, ‘then sell this and use the money. But if you come home drunk, I will die.’