When nothing untoward happened during their journey, she wondered if her family had said good riddance to her and disowned her. Perhaps they were relieved and happy that she had not taken anything with her, that she had walked out in just the sari she was wearing. Was that all there was to it? Was that all there was to everything? Had all these years of love and affection meant nothing? Why hadn’t they come looking for her? Despite her fears of being separated from Kumaresan, she would have been somewhat comforted if someone had come after them, even if it was the police. Now all she had was the emptiness of knowing no one was looking for her. After all this, could she ever go back there? And would anyone embrace her and welcome her back if she did? They would just say, ‘You left. Couldn’t you just stay away?’

But if she did choose to go back home after all of this, she would feel less fearful if she went with Kumaresan. In any case, he wouldn’t let her go alone. He had already said enough to dispel her fear and boost her confidence. She held on to those heartfelt words he had uttered: ‘If you can trust that from now on I am everything for you, then come with me.’ Even if she came to lose everything else, as long as she had him it was enough. ‘I am everything for you,’ he had said to her. When she repeated it to him several times like a chant, he had laughed. It was a laugh of approval.

He had already explained to her that once they reached the village, he would do most of the talking, and that no matter what his mother or the others in the village asked her, she need speak only a word or two in response. He had repeated this to her several times—both when they left Tholur together on the bus, with her head resting on his shoulder, and when they resumed their journey after they got married—to make sure she understood clearly.

‘Whatever I say, amma will listen to me,’ he reassured her many times in many different ways. ‘She will worry about what others might say, but everything will be all right soon. Don’t be afraid.’

Saroja nodded like an obedient child, hanging on to Kumaresan’s every word. Although it was uncharacteristic of her garrulous nature not to talk, she realized how important it was to act according to his wishes while in the village. Later, when things had settled and she learns how things worked here, she could probably chatter as much as she wanted to. But until then she had best follow his instructions.

He even told her that he had hinted at these possibilities to his mother already. Apparently, the last time he was in the village, she had said to him, ‘What do you say? Shall we start looking for a girl for you?’

‘No rush,’ he had replied. ‘We can talk about this at leisure some other time.’