My grandfather appears before me in my mind’s eye. ‘A von Eschersbach is always up at the top, no matter where he may find himself. Don’t ever forget that!’ he used to tell me. Oh, Grandpa, if you could see me now – I have definitely hit rock bottom. The very thought of this makes me howl even louder. Somebody’s got to get me out of here!

‘Come on, sweetie, calm down.’ A hand reaches through the bars and ruffles the fur behind my ears. ‘Soon there’ll be a delicious snack, and everything will look brighter. The first day is hard on everyone.’

Hmm, that’s a nice voice. I look over to find out who it belongs to. Next to the cage there’s a young woman in overalls, smiling at me encouragingly. Her hand smells of ordinary tinned food, but her touch makes me feel more relaxed. I lick her fingers, and she starts to giggle.

‘Oh yes, you like that taste, don’t you?’ she whispers to me.

Oh dear, if she only knew! Up to now, my pampered dachshund palate has tasted only the most delectable fresh offal and tripe. We were served ready-made food only when Emilia, our cook, was sick or on holiday. Just thinking about Emilia gives me a knot in my chest, and I can’t help whimpering a bit. When I had to leave her this morning, she cried. God only knows how humans pull that off. For the first time in my life, I would have given anything to be able to shed a few tears too.

‘You poor thing, still feeling bad?’ the woman in charge of us asks sympathetically. ‘Don’t worry – you’re so cute we’re sure to find a new mistress or master for you soon. I promise!’ Then she strokes my head again and pulls her hand back through the bars.

I turn round and trot over to the other corner of the cage. A ray of sunshine is casting an inviting little bright spot onto the floor, and I decide to make myself comfy. Of course I’m not the only one to get this idea. Before I can lie down, a huge black something-or-other steps right on my paws.

‘Little guy, I think you’d better vamoose to the other side. This is my spot.’ To add authority to his pronouncement, his final words crescendo into a hoarse growl.

What a ludicrous cur! Does he really think he can put me to flight? Me? My ancestors went hunting with the last emperor! I shake my head.