At that juncture, Percy’s coughing reached such a crescendo that they could no longer carry on a civil conversation. Many of those acquainted with the Tunstell twins believed only Prim had inherited their parents’ flare for drama. But Rue knew full well that Percy could produce more than his fair share of theatricality when called upon.

Chilli pepper consumption appeared to call for it.

Quesnel, for his part, was taking every opportunity to whack Percy on the back, as hard as possible without causing permanent damage.

“Your brother is a ridiculous man,” said Rue to Prim. “It wasn’t that spicy.”

Primrose said, “In his defence, it did burn all the way down. Not unlike cognac.”

Rue was arrested. “How do you know what cognac tastes like?”

Prim replied, as though it were nothing of significance, “Queen Mums likes a snifter of an evening.”

“Baroness Ivy Tunstell, vampire queen, drinks cognac?”

Prim grinned. “Apparently Madame Lefoux introduced it to her back when they were girls.”

Quesnel did not look surprised at the sudden appearance of his mother in this particular conversation. Rue wondered if that meant that Madame Lefoux made a habit of corrupting young ladies with cognac.

Rue blinked in amazement. “Your mother shared this habit with you?”

“Not exactly. Percy and I used to sneak a sip upon occasion, because we weren’t supposed to.”

“Percy drinks cognac?”

“Ladies,” rasped Percy, “I’m walking right here.”

Rue and Prim ignored him.

Prim said smugly, “Well, yes, old Percy’s very cultured in the matter of spirits.”

“Madness.” I guess one can still learn something new about friends of twenty years. “Clearly I’m going to have to instruct our cook to stock cognac.”

Primrose looked at her brother thoughtfully. He glared back, eyes still watering slightly. “Perhaps not the best idea. Percy has been known to overindulge.”

“Still right here,” he said.

Rue and Prim continued to ignore him.

“Percy gets looped?” Rue hooted.

“Yes, rather like now.”

Percy drew himself up and said with considerably dignity, “I am not at all looped. It’s simply that I don’t like chilli peppers.”

“I should like to see Percy looped,” commented Rue, meaning it.

Quesnel took a strange sort of pity on Percy. “Are they always like this around you, old man?”

Percy was morose. “My whole life.”

Quesnel said, “No wonder you’re so deranged.”

Percy sniffed. “Thank you very much.”

“It’s a wonder you don’t drink more cognac.” Quesnel didn’t bother to hide his grin.

Percy sighed. “Yes, well, if you’ve all had enough fun teasing poor old Percy for one evening?”

“It never gets old,” answered his sister.