“Oh, Jack,” she whispered, shaking her head slowly. She looked at me with sympathetic eyes, “You were never supposed to see those things, Nina. Your father was always so careful to keep you safe from that part of his life. He hasn’t been gone six months and I’ve failed him.” Cynthia rose to her feet and walked slowly to the door.

I pushed myself away from the table and called after her. “Tell me I’m wrong, Mother. I need you to tell me this is a mistake.” My voice was closer to begging than the firm tone I’d meant to take.

Cynthia didn’t turn around; she wiped another tear and sighed.

I took a deep breath and braced myself. “Charles Dawson wants those files.”

“He knew where they were?” she shrieked, flipping around.

Anger surged through me. “You know who he is?”

“He worked for your father,” she said, touching her mouth nervously in thought.

I sat up higher in my chair, my muscles rigid. “Why is he harassing me, Mother? Why aren’t you upset about that?”

“Nina, Dear,” her tone turned soft, “I told you. Your father did everything in his power to keep you removed from his dealings. I understand you were frightened; but you were safe, I promise.”

“What does that mean? Why won’t anyone give me a straight answer?”

Cynthia tilted her head and raised her eyebrows, the way she did when I was little. “Wouldn’t you agree that after tonight, some things are better left unsaid?”

My immediate reaction was to scream at her and demand the truth, but she was right. I had lost my father again tonight, the reverence I’d once felt for him was replaced with debilitating disappointment. It was worse than losing him to death. All perception I’d had of him had been ripped away. He was no longer God in my eyes, he was just a man; a flawed, corrupt man.

I considered Cynthia’s suggestion and nodded.

She lifted my chin. “I’m so sorry, Love.”

“I’ve got to get out of here,” I blurted, turning away from her touch. Everything I knew was a lie. I left her alone to fetch my coat.

“Where are you going?” she called after me.

“For a walk,” I said, bundling myself inside my hat and gloves.

“It’s freezing outside, Nina! Be reasonable! Please let Robert drive you!”

I yanked my purse over my shoulder and jerked open the door. “I’ll walk to the bus stop and catch a ride to Brown. I’ll call you when I get there.” I avoided her inevitably pleading eyes as I marched outside, slamming the door behind me.