He took a few steps backward and grinned. “I’ll call you tomorrow,” he said, turning to disappear into the darkness.

With each step to my room I tried to figure out where everything had gone so horribly wrong. I hadn’t set out to hurt anyone, yet every decision I made seemed to cause others pain. I pushed open the door and collapsed onto my bed.

Through the whiskey fog I searched my past, trying to remember the exact moment that I’d made a mistake, where I could have made a better choice. If I had chosen to stay with Jared, no matter how sure he was, his family would be in danger. My choice to end things had left both of us in agony that didn’t seem to be subsiding. Convincing Ryan to engage in a fake relationship with me had only accomplished Ryan having false hope, and if it were even possible, I hurt Jared worse than I already had.

Beth’s key rattled the door knob. She walked in to our dark room, throwing her purse onto the bedside table.

“Nina?” she whispered. “Are you awake?”

“I thought you went to Chad’s,” I said, turning to face her.

She sat on my bed and placed her hand gently on my leg. “I wanted to make sure you were all right.”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” The liquor helped to keep my voice even.

Beth was aggravated with my calm demeanor. “We all saw what happened. Is Ryan insane?”

“He was just trying to make a point.”

Beth shot a disgusted glance at me. “What point would that be? That he has suicidal tendencies? Jared could have wadded him up like a piece of paper, and considering his state of mind…that was just really, really stupid.”

“I’m going to sleep. I have a lot to do tomorrow,” I said, settling against my pillow.

“Why are you so calm about this? I don’t understand you anymore, Nina. It doesn’t seem like you’re thinking clearly.”

I smiled, my eyes closed. “I’m not thinking clearly. I’ve had a lot to drink.”

Beth shook her head. “You’re not acting like yourself. It’s like you left the best part of you behind when you left Jared.”

“Thanks,” I snapped, turning my back to her.

“That’s not what I meant, I just meant….” Beth sighed and then left without saying goodbye.

Sunday morning I woke up to the sound of the rain pelting against the window. I peered out, seeing Jared’s Escalade just down the street. My chest ached, knowing how hard it must have been for him to be alone on his birthday. I fantasized about bringing him a present, or simply running out to hug him, but I could do neither. As soon as I shut the door behind me from returning from the shower, there was a knock at the door.