“Is he FBI or something?” Ryan said, looking a bit creeped out. “What did you get yourself mixed up in, Nigh?

“Will you do it for me? I know it sounds crazy, and I know it’s a lot to ask, but you’re the only one that can help me,” I said, tugging desperately at his shirt.

“Pretend to be your boyfriend? Lie to all my friends? Let you break my heart when it’s all said and done?”

I nodded sheepishly.

“Sure,” he said, smiling.

I wasn’t sure if the tears came from the fact that Ryan had agreed to help me, or that my plan would work, but I grabbed him and hugged him to me as if I needed him to breathe. He hugged me back, and then pulled away, looking into my eyes.

“I’m going to regret this. I can already tell,” he said, smiling softly.

We drove back to Brown, and as we walked from the parking lot, Ryan took my hand. “If we’re going to do this, we should do it right, right? No one is going to believe us if we never touch.”

“Right.”

I struggled to keep my emotions in check as we walked down the halls of my dorm. Jared could see us and I fought against the guilt I felt for hurting him. If I was going to fool him at all, I would have to concentrate on feeling comfortable and happy with Ryan.

We stopped at my door and Ryan let go of my hand. “Are you sure you don’t want to come with us tonight?”

After I nodded, Ryan leaned in and kissed the corner of my mouth. I let my feelings for him as a friend bleed through the awkwardness so Jared wouldn’t be tipped off. I smiled at him as he turned to walk down the hall.

Over the next weeks, Ryan kept me busy going to the movies, meeting for lunch, and accompanying me to dinner. We spent time together every night, and shared a table at breakfast every morning. He even began to forgo plans with his friends. Soon, everyone was convinced that we were having a not-so-secret relationship.

It was uncomfortable for both of us at first, but after the first week we settled into our new roles. Ryan made a game of it, as he did everything else. We bet on how soon someone would ask us to announce our relationship, and who it would be.

Our friendship grew stronger as the days past, and I began depending on him for more than fooling Jared. Ryan anesthetized the pain, and it wasn’t long before I found myself making excuses to be around him.

The day finally came that I had bet that Kim would ask what our status was. I made a show of stretching my legs across Ryan’s lap.

“Cheater,” Ryan whispered, too low for anyone else to hear.