Chapters (21)
I closed the door behind him and picked up a brush, raking it through my hair. “This isn’t about him, it’s about me. You can’t kiss me like that, especially with Jared right there. Did you honestly think that was okay?”
“No, I just wanted to do it.”
I threw my brush onto my desk and glared at him. “But you can’t just do it. It makes things more difficult.”
“For Jared?”
“For us,” I sighed. “It makes it more difficult for us to be friends.”
“I said I wasn’t going to fight with you about Jared anymore, I never said I wasn’t going to fight for you.”
“What?”
Ryan rolled his eyes and then smiled. “I love you.”
I heard the words, but I was still processing what he’d said before. I shook my head. “What?”
Ryan took a few steps closer to me and cinched his hands around my hips. “You heard me. I’m not stupid; I can see what’s going on with you and Jared. But I also see the way you look at me. And don’t give me that crap about how you care about me because we’re friends, either. It’s something else and you know it.”
I felt my cheeks flush. “I know you’re delusional.”
Ryan shook his head. “No. I’ve waited. I’ve watched. Today I’m sure. For whatever reasons you’re refusing to acknowledge it, but you know it’s there, same as I do. The only reason we’re not together right now is because you met Jared first. That’s not a good enough reason for me to walk away.”
My stomach felt sick. I hadn’t prepared for this conversation, and the fact that my boyfriend was listening didn’t help. Jared was waiting for me to deny it. As much as I wanted to scream at Ryan to get out, I also knew that I couldn’t eject him for the truth. That…and I wanted to him to stay. I couldn’t tell him he was wrong when we both knew he was right.
Ryan took a step closer and grabbed the crests of my hips gently with each hand, grasping them a bit tighter as he inched closer. He closed his eyes, and I pressed my lips together, praying he wouldn’t try to kiss me. I wouldn’t kiss him back, but I couldn’t tell him no. Either way I would hurt him.
He leaned in for a moment, waiting patiently.
I breathed out from my nose, letting my chest cave in. Something kept me where I stood, so it was the most I could move. Tears glossed over my eyes and I felt them burn, unable to close them or look away.