I wanted to roll my eyes at his childish note, but when I saw the expectant grin on his face, I couldn’t say no. I circled ‘C’, folded it, and tossed it back. Ryan always came up with the silliest things, and I adored that about him. Unbeknownst to him, he was a safe harbor from my other life, the one that had become full of shadows and uncertainty.

I watched him unfold the paper and read my answer. He didn’t look up at me; he folded back the small torn page and stuffed it in his pocket, a wide grin across his face.

After class, Ryan and I walked to The Gate. He was his usual amusing self, and I laughed every step of the way. A few times I noticed he would hug me to him, nudge me, and a few times he led me by the small of my back through the doors he held open. I had the distinct feeling we were on a date, even though that wasn’t the case. The only thing that bothered me was that Ryan’s touch didn’t bother me. It wasn’t the electricity I felt with Jared, but it felt expected, almost comfortable.

I didn’t realize when Ryan asked me to lunch that the entire study group was coming, but I smiled at the friends that filtered in and surrounded us. Over the next hour, we sat hunched over our paper plates of pizza that we balanced on our laps, the boys trying their best to keep their towering stacks of slices from falling to the floor. Ryan and Kim were inexplicably engaged in a contest to see who could take the bigger bite. Our ordinary moment was a welcomed break and I smiled at the laughter saturating the air around me, absorbing the sweet chaos I hadn’t realized I’d missed.

Ryan walked out with me and smiled. “You’re staying here, tonight, huh?”

“I am,” I grinned.

He prolonged our walk with a leisurely pace. “Are you going to study group tonight?”

“Are you?”

He shrugged. “I need to. I was going to ask for your help.”

“You need more help than I can give you, but I’ll do my best.”

Ryan kept his hands in his pockets, angling his face towards the sunshine. He looked truly happy, and I felt a warm tinge in my chest. I was hopeful that we could remain in each other’s lives, after all.

“It’s nice today. I could grab a blanket and we could hang out on the greens,” he said, purposefully bumping into me.