“It’s OK,” I say.

And it is. I know she just forgot.

*

I can’t help but feel people staring as I help Mariam bring some of our stuff off the bus, like this big, dumb banner that Alistair and Helen made for our supporters. It’s a rainbow flag with our logo in the middle, with the words MOSAIC above it and SLAY ALL DAY below it.

It’s not subtle.

I guess neither are we.

Mariam and I stand awkwardly waiting.

“How’s it going?” she asks.

“Pretty good,” I say. “Bit nervous.”

“Ach, you’ll be grand,” she says. “You’re one of the best players on the team. That’s what I heard.”

“Yeah,” I say. I suppose I should pretend to be modest, but it’s true. Alistair’s our star player, and Liam’s not bad, but the rest of them are pretty poor. “Not hard, though.”

Mariam and I are standing by the bus as some of the other lads start to emerge from the changing rooms.

“What’s going on?” asks Gregor, catching up with me. “Why aren’t you ready?”

“Yeah, you can’t expect me to beat these hetties on my own,” says Alistair, who’s still wearing his sequinned scarf round his head. I suspect he’ll be playing in it. “You know you’re the only other decent player on this team.”

“Eh, excuse you,” says Liam.

“Nah, he’s right,” says Gregor.

As we’re chatting, Helen exits the changing rooms looking flustered, and my heart sinks.

She’s being followed by a bloke in a tracksuit and raincoat, who I assume is the other team’s coach.

“What’s going on?” asks Mariam.

“They’re saying we can’t play,” Helen cuts to the chase.

There’s a chime of whats and whys from some of the lads from Mosaic, and the other team are starting to make their way over to us.

“It’s league rules, I’m afraid,” says their coach, shrugging his shoulders.

“What is?” asks Alistair.

The coach looks at me, and it’s like my stomach’s going to fall out of my arse.

I know what he’s going to say.

“Um,” he says, exhaling, his face flushing, his neck going red. “See. We can’t. We don’t. It’s not. It’s just league rules.”

“Oh well, that’s that cleared up,” says Alistair, snarky.

“What’s he talking about?” asks Liam.

“He’s saying we can’t play,” says Helen. “Because Ethan’s trans.”

“So you mean we came all this way for nothing?” says Gregor.

“Nah, mate,” says Liam, chewing his lip.

“Nuh-uh,” says Alistair, flicking his scarf back off his shoulder.

“I didn’t say you couldn’t play,” says the coach.

“What do you mean?” asks Helen.

“I didn’t say you couldn’t play,” says the coach, looking pleased with himself. “I just said she couldn’t play.”

He nods at me.

I bristle.

I always get this weird feeling in my chest and my stomach when someone misgenders me. It’s like, sometimes I can feel it coming. I can always tell when it’s a mistake and when it’s meant to hurt me.

But this one feels like both.