The door to the bedroom opened and closed, and he heard the baby’s soft whimper as his wife slid into the chair by his bed. How to reconcile the dichotomy, his desire to be with Sarina and baby Sarah versus his longing, his desperate longing to flee Covington and be free? Am I crazy? When Sarah was born, I felt at peace. I believed that my hunger for adventure could be tempered and even replaced by my family.

“Zack.” Sarina’s voice ended his musing. “Are you hungry? Shall I get you a little snack? Shall I get more pillows to raise your leg? They said it should be raised, did they not?”

“No. Leave me alone, will you? I don’t need anything to eat, and my leg feels fine.” It was all he could do to refrain from asking her to leave him alone. “I’m fine.”

He had not talked about his ordeal with anyone. He had climbed higher and more difficult mountains and had never fallen or been seriously injured. But he had prepared for those climbs and not headed off precipitously, as he had done on Anson’s Mountain. What he felt when the shock wore off was anger at himself and humiliation. He detested that he had whimpered like a baby and begged for medication.

It hadn’t helped that his rescuers treated him as if he were an amateur, someone who had never hiked a trail. Assuming that the medication had knocked him out before it actually had, they had joked about “stupid Yankees” with their know-it-all attitude, who wandered off marked trails.

“There are no marked trails up in this forest, and you know it,” he wanted to yell, but his throat was thick and his mouth dry, and he had floated away to awaken, nauseous and confused, in a pristine hospital room, surrounded by hovering family.

The chair creaked. Sarina rose. “Sarah’s asleep. I’m going to lay her in her crib. Are you sure I cannot get you anything?”

Just go and leave me alone. “Yes, please, will you make me an omelet with fresh eggs? It tastes so much better when the eggs are fresh.” He hoped that her search for fresh eggs would take her to the Herrills, who kept chickens, and that it would occupy her for a good long time. Assailed by guilt, he hated himself for wanting her gone.

Sarina deserved better. She deserved much more than he could give her. And now that his father had married Hannah, Hannah would inherit his mother’s home and the land. It struck him, then, that no one owned him. That when he was well and strong again, he could pack a bag and leave. The thought comforted him. He felt in control of his life again.