Or both. You helped her run maybe. You're her boyfriend. Either way, she's eighteen. They're not going to look hard. They're not going to find her. They'll have other priorities . What do you want me to do?Find her . I don't save people. You yourself pointed that out . Then you better start now. My daughter is gone because of you. I hold you accountable . Myron shook his head. But she was having none of it . You made her promise. Right here in this house. You made her promise. Now you do the same, dammit. Promise me you'll find my baby. Promise me you'll bring her home . A nd a moment later the truly final what-if? Myron did.

Chapter 19

Ali Wilder had finally stopped thinking long enough about Myron's impending visit to call her editor, a man she generously referred to as Caligula. I just don't get this paragraph, Ali . She bit back a sigh. What about it, Craig? Craig was the name her editor used when he introduced himself, but Ali was sure his real name was Caligula . Before 9/11, Ali had a solid job with a major magazine in the city. After Kevin's death, there was no way she could keep it. Erin and Jack needed her home. She took a sabbatical and then became a freelance journalist, mostly writing for magazines. At first, everyone offered her jobs. She refused them out of what she now saw as stupid pride. She hated getting the pity assignments. She felt above it. She now regretted that . Caligula cleared his throat, making a production about it, and read her paragraph out loud: The closest town is Pahrump. Picture Pahrump, rhymes with dump, as what's left on the road if a buzzard ate Las Vegas and spit out the bad parts. Tackiness as art form. A bordello is made to look like a White Castle restaurant, which seems like a bad pun. Signs with giant cowboys compete with signs for fireworks stores, casinos, trailer parks, and beef jerky. All the cheese is American singles . A fter a meaningful pause, Caligula said, Let's start with the last line . Uh-huh . You say that the only cheese in the town is American singles?Yes, Ali said . A re you sure?Pardon me?I mean, did you go to the supermarket?No. Ali started gnawing on a fingernail. It's not a statement of fact. I'm trying to give you a feel for the town . By writing untruths?Ali knew where this was going. She waited. Caligula did not disappoint . How do you know, Ali, they don't have some other kind of cheese in this town? Did you check all the supermarket shelves? And even if you did, did you consider the fact that maybe someone shops in a neighboring town and brings other cheese into Pahrump? Or that maybe they order by mail service? Do you understand what I'm saying?Ali closed her eyes . We print that, about the American singles being the only cheese in town, and suddenly we get a call from the mayor and he says, 'Hey, that's not true. We have tons of varieties here. We have Gouda and Swiss and cheddar and provolone ' I get the point, Craig. 'And Roquefort and blue and mozzarella ' Craig . . . and heck, what about cream?Cream?Cream cheese, for crying out loud. That's a kind of cheese, right? Cream cheese. Even a hickville place would have cream cheese. You see?Right, uh-huh. More gnawing on the nail. I see . So that line has to go. She could hear his pen go through it. Now let's talk about the line before that, the one about trailer parks and beef jerky .