So did Win, though it took far more to get him buzzed. Cognac was mother's milk to Win. He rarely showed the effects, at least on the outside . Tonight it didn't matter. Win's stretch limo was already waiting. It would take them back uptown . Win's apartment in the Dakota was worth about a billion dollars and had a dTcor that reminded one of Versailles. When they arrived, Win carefully poured himself an obscenely priced vintage port, Quinta do Noval Nacional 1963. The bottle had been decanted several hours ago because, as Win explained, you must give vintage port time to breathe before consumption. Myron normally drank a chocolate Yoohoo, but his stomach was not in the mood. Plus the chocolate wouldn't have time to breathe . Win snapped on the TV, and they watched Antiques Roadshow. A snooty woman with a lazy drawl had brought in a hideous bronze bust. She started telling the appraiser a story about how Dean Martin in 1950 offered her father ten thousand dollars for this wretched hunk of metal, but her daddy, she said with an insistent finger-point and matching smirk, was too wily for that. He knew that it must be worth a fortune. The appraiser nodded patiently, waited for the woman to finish, and then he lowered the boom:It's worth about twenty dollars . Myron and Win shared a quiet high five . Enjoying other people's misery, Win said . We are pitiful, Myron said . I t's not us . No?It's this show, Win said. It illuminates so much that is wrong with our society . How so?People aren't satisfied just to have their trinket be worth a fortune. No, it is better, far better, if they bought it on the cheap from some unsuspecting rube. No one considers the feelings of the unsuspecting yard salesman who was cheated, who lost out . Good point . A h, but there's more . Myron smiled, sat back, waited . Forget greed for the moment, Win went on. What really upsets us is that everybody but everybody lies on Antiques Roadshow . Myron nodded. You mean when the appraiser asks, 'Do you have any idea what it's worth?' Precisely. He asks that same question every time . I know . A nd Mr. or Mrs. Gee-Whiz act like the question caught them totally off guard as if they'd never seen the show before . I t's annoying, Myron agreed . A nd then they say something like, 'Gasp-oh-gasp, I never thought of that. I have no idea what it might be worth.' Win frowned. I mean, please. You dragged your two-ton granite armoire to some impersonal convention center and waited in line for twelve hours but you never, ever, not in your wildest dreams wondered what it might be worth?A lie, Myron agreed, feeling the buzz. It's up there with 'Your call is very important to us.' And that, Win said, is why we love when a woman like that gets slammed.