“What you said, Maya, was ‘I’m just a girl, I don’t know how to use power tools, you have to do this for me,’ which I refused to entertain, and…It wasn’t me.”

“What do you mean?”

“Hark came over. Put them up. Painted the walls. Cleaned up the mess.”

“What? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because he asked me not to. Because he said that it would relax him, and that he was doing it mostly for himself. Because I’d just gotten with Rue and struggled to think about anything that wasn’t her.”

“Bud, that has not changed.”

“No.” He sighs. Rubs his eyes. “There are…things, about Hark, about the past few years, that I’m starting to consider in a different light. I always assumed that he wasn’t over Minami. Every behavior, every reaction, every time he chose work over relationships, every strain, I attributed to the fact that he was still in love with her, but…” He looks at me as though I might have an answer for him.

“Have you been to…Did you go to him, too? To talk about me?”

“Not yet, but—”

“Don’t, please. He already thinks that he’s a pervy old man stealing schoolgirls’ underwear. He hates that I’m younger.”

Eli weighs my words. “It’s not an irrational concern, Maya. You are at different stages in your lives—”

“What if Rue was fifteen years younger than you? Or older?”

“She’s not. That’s the point—”

“The point is that you find someone, and you can’t always control where shit goes. I mean, you met her on a sex app.”

“Right. And I fell for her. And for a while there, I wanted a relationship and she didn’t, which did not make for a pleasant experience. That’s why I came here to tell you that if you’re using Hark to have some fun—”

“I’m not…I like him.”

“I know you do, but—”

“No, Eli. I like him.”

A beat. My brother absorbs, reorients, and says, “I see.”

“Three years ago, my last semester in Scotland. He helped me.” I swallow. “And then we kept in touch. For over two years, we spoke nearly every day. As friends. And then…” Eli waits patiently for me to continue. “Before this week, I hadn’t talked to him in months.”

“Why?”

I exhale slowly. “Because it all went to shit.”

Chapter 35

Ten months earlier

Austin, Texas

It’s been two weeks since Conor and I had our late-night talk about Alfie, and love, and Conor’s relationship with Minami.

We haven’t spoken since then, which is a first in our friendship. Conor has been busy, traveling, covering for Eli when he and Rue took off for a long weekend. Harkness is expanding and their roles are changing and goal-directed supervision is crucial in this transitional stage and blah, blah, blah.

I don’t care too much, because seven days ago I saw him in person. In a church parking lot, of all places. He was wearing a slate three-piece suit and sunglasses, shaking his head at the rest of us as we shifted uncomfortably on our feet. We looked up at the steeple, and I felt a little queasy at the brick-and-mortar reminder that religion is a thing that exists.