I can’t tell whether he’s joking or not. “That’s not funny.”

A ghost of a smile. “I didn’t think so at the time either. Effective, though.”

“I’m not going to spank her.” And you shouldn’t either, I add silently. The last thing that grieving child needs from her only remaining family member is physical pain.

“Maybe you’ll take a ruler to the backs of her fingers. I imagine that’ll work just as well. And it will have the side benefit of giving me something nice to look at. You wearing a prim skirt and heels, a bun in your hair, wielding a ruler would be a sight to see.”

My mouth opens. He may not be joking, but he’s not serious either. This is a decided effort to rile me up, and it’s working. “You’re an asshole.”

A quirk of his lips. “What do you want me to say?”

“That you’re concerned about her education.”

“Fuck her education.”

“She’s going to fail first grade. That will follow her the rest of her life.”

He glances at the stack of papers. “Let me see that.”

I hand it over. He looks at a page of simple three-letter sight words. “She can already read.”

“I know.” That’s easy enough if you watch her play her games. She also snuck a look at my text messages one time. Who is Noah and why does he want you to call him back? “She’s still supposed to draw lines from the words in butterflies to the flowers where they belong.”

“Christ.” He turns the page. From here I can see the giant circles forming a caterpillar that have giant numbers in them. “She can already do addition.”

“And subtraction.” It only took one time playing Monopoly with her before I realized she had the mind of a landlord. She could calculate the amount of rent due with two houses before I even realized I’d landed on her property. “She still needs to write the sum at the end of the caterpillar. It’s not a question of how smart she is; it’s about doing the work.”

“The work is a joke.”

“She’s six.”

“Even more reason she shouldn’t be made to endure this pedestrian drivel.”

“Listen, she’s not a duchess being forced to mingle with the masses. She’s a child who’s hurting and needs something more from you than a rude remark.”

He gives me a grin. It’s sudden and unexpected, that flash of white teeth. He looks almost… handsome when he does that. As quickly as it appears, it’s gone. “You would make an excellent schoolteacher,” he murmurs, looking down my body with appreciation. “I’ve seen videos that start this way. And you could probably earn more than being a nanny.”