The first tape was the one I had already seen. It showed Maddox and Johnson together again. We didn’t watch very much of it—I had seen it, and Anna wanted to see as little as possible. I couldn’t blame her. We watched roughly two minutes of it. They were the last two minutes though, and when she ejected the tape, I noticed that there was at least three quarters of the tape unused.

I eased off the couch and put the tape back in and began to fast forward it. The snow on the screen looked no different in the fast forward mode than it did in the normal play mode, with the exception of the lines at the top and bottom of the screen that looked like wrinkles.

After about five minutes or so, I ejected the tape, concluding that there was nothing else on it.

The second tape was of Maddox alone.

When the first image flickered on the screen, it was of Maddox’s bare chest. It was roughly the color of cotton and covered with white hair. He was obviously leaning over the camera to turn it on. He then backed up, bent down, and looked right into the lens, his fat, out-of-focus face filling the screen. I could see the reflection of the red recording light flashing on his left cheek. He turned and headed toward the bed, and the light could then be seen flashing on his other left cheek.

Waiting on the bed for him were a remote control and a jar of Vaseline. He pointed the remote in the direction of the camera, and the TV began to play. The sounds of sex began to fill the speakers. They sounded as if they were coming from his TV, and because the video camera was so close to the TV the sound was distorted, but it was still unmistakable. It sounded like the tape we had just watched. Russ was watching himself with Johnson.

He removed the lid from the Vaseline jar, scooped out a heaping amount, and began to masturbate.

I fast-forwarded through the rest, only glancing occasionally to make sure there wasn’t anything of evidentiary value on the tape.

“It’s so personal,” Anna said. “Even more so than watching two people have sex. It’s personal and private and in this case kinda sad.”

I nodded. “Yes it is.”

The third tape was Maddox and Johnson again. It was shot in black and white, which, because of the contrast between the two men, looked artistic.

The last tape showed Maddox with Anthony Thomas.

Thomas wasn’t the willing participant Johnson seemed to be, and though it was obvious he was in a drug-altered state, there was still a lot of coercion and even a little force.

When we finished watching the tapes, I felt like I needed a shower.

“Whatta you think?” Anna asked.

“I think what you think. Everybody on these tapes is now dead.”