Janet and Rachael were looking all tender and Janet had tears in her eyes because last year at Summer Bible School she had rededicated her life to the Lord so now she had a more Tender Heart for the Lost. And Rachael, who had never rebelled and always had had a tender heart, was looking sweet and happy because she was witnessing the rebirth of a lost soul and was rejoicing along with the angels.

But Dad just kept reading in the corner even though Mom had looked over a couple of times and said, “Isn’t that so, Ralph?” in a way that meant she wanted Dad to enter into the witnessing and help midwife this lost lamb into the kingdom. Dad just kept reading; he had turned the page now, and I could see a chart on the back of the newsletter outlining the proper Presbyterian eschatological position of the End Times. The point on the chart where the Elect were taken up in the rapture was marked with a red arrow pointing up and a picture of a family dressed in their Sunday best all floating up to meet Jesus in the air. The mothers legs were already in the clouds so you couldn’t look up her skirt.

Mom kept going with the Sinner’s Prayer and said, “I come to you a repentant sinner.”

The Frenchman sat straight in his seat and wouldn’t pray because the conductor had just opened the door to our compartment and was saying, “Billets, s’il vous plait. “

Dad stood up and reached into his jacket for the tickets, then remembered Mom had them. So she had to interrupt her revival meeting and get them out of her handbag and in the process handed me the Gospel Walnut to hold while she rummaged for the tickets. The conductor saw the nut in my hand and said not to crack open nuts on the little table that was attached to the wall because it would make marks on it. I started to explain that this was not an ordinary nut you could eat. But I stopped because I looked over at Mom, and she was watching me all happy and expectant. I realized she thought I was about to follow the booklet’s instructions on how the nut was “a natural conversation piece that will lead from conversation to conversion!” I knew Mom always prayed for me that my heart would grow more tender for the Things of the Lord since I had refused to carry my Gospel Walnut at all times like the booklet said I should, and almost never witnessed with or without nuts anyway.