I explained how a board member from the mission board of the PCCCCUSA had been visiting us and had found out I wasn’t in school anywhere and that I couldn’t read and how he had complained to the mission board of the PCCCCUSA back in America and how they had sent a letter telling Dad that the Lord had laid it on their hearts that his son should know how to read. And how since we weren’t Swiss Roman Catholics and Mom wanted me to speak English, and grow up Reformed, and the only Reformed boarding school in Switzerland was for girls only, she and Dad had decided to send me to a boarding school for the sons of missionaries in England and how it was all paid for by the Missionary Alliance Family Help Fund for the Servants of the Lord.

“I don’t understanda youa fasser, ‘ees a priest, no?”

“No, we’re Protestant missionaries to the Roman Catholics; Dad’s a minister.”

“But ef ‘ees a priest, whya ‘eesa married?”

I explained again he wasn’t a priest, but a Reformed Presbyterian.

“Youa mosser, she’sa ‘ees meestress?”

I explained again how Protestant missionaries got married and that way their whole family could witness for the Lord along with them.

Gino drank awhile, then said very loudly, “Jesus coulda read!”

I couldn’t exactly see how that had anything to do with Dad and Mom, so I just explained again about how Dad had been called by God to be a light unto nations.

Gino paid no attention but stood up holding on to my shoulder so he wouldn’t fall over; he lifted up his glass like he was toasting someone and said very loudly, “Jesus Coulda Read!”

I decided I’d better agree with him since he got notions about you if he thought you were disagreeing with him when he had drunk almost a whole bottle of Johnny Walker Red Label, so I lifted up my glass too and said, “Yes, Jesus could read!”

Then Gino maneuvered around and clinked my glass and said, “To Jesus’ books!”

I didn’t know what he was talking about but I sipped my whiskey all the same and said, “Yes, to His books!”

Then I hoped I would not be struck by lightning because I knew that if this wasn’t taking the Lord’s name in vain, nothing was.