I took Myra to a few side shows, standing close to her while I tried to make up my mind. I took her on the merry-go-round and some other rides, helping her on and off and looking at her when her dress slid up, and so on and so forth. And god-dang if it wasn’t long before I came to my decision.

Myra looked shocked when I whispered to her, almost as shocked as if I’d bought her a sack of popcorn.

“Why—why, I just wouldn’t think of it!” She twisted and twitched. “The very idea, going to a hotel with a strange man!”

“But I ain’t strange,” I said, giving her a pinch. “I’m built just like the rest of ‘em.”

“Oh, you awful thing, you!” she giggled. “You’re just terrible!”

“Why, I ain’t neither terrible,” I said. “Anyways, it ain’t fair to say I am without more knowledge on the subject.”

She giggled and blushed, and said she just couldn’t go to a hotel. “I just couldn’t! I really couldn’t.”

“Well, if you can’t you can’t,” I said, getting a little tired of it all. “Far be it from me to urge you.”

“But—but we could go to my rooming house. No one would think anything of it if you just came up to my room for a little visit.”

We took a streetcar over to the place where she lived, a big white house a few blocks from the river. It was a very respectable place, from all appearances, and the people were too. And no one lifted an eyebrow when Myra said we were just going upstairs to clean up before we went out for supper.

Well, sir, I hardly touched that woman. Or, anyway, if I did touch her, I didn’t do much more than that. I was ready to and rarin’ to, and, well, maybe I did do a ‘little’ something. But with all them clothes she had on, it was god-danged little.

All of a sudden, though, she pushed me off to the floor, starting to bawl and sob so loud you could hear her in the next block. I picked myself up and tried to shush her. I asked her what the heck was the matter, and I tried to pat her and calm her down. She shoved me away again, setting up an even bigger racket.

I didn’t know what the heck to do. Anyways, I didn’t have time to do anything before a bunch of the other roomers came busting in.

The women hovered around Myra, trying to soothe her and talk to her. Myra kept bawling and shaking her head, not answering when they asked her what the matter was. The men looked at me, and kept asking me what I’d done to Myra. And it was just one of those situations where the truth won’t do and a lie’s no help. Which fortunately there ain’t many of in this vale of tears.

The men grabbed ahold of me and began to bat me around. One of the women said she was going to call the police, but the men said no, they’d take care of me themselves. They’d give me what I deserved, they said, and there were plenty of men in the neighborhood to help ‘em.