Rose made a farting noise with her lips. “Brother!” she said again. “Are you ever full of crap!”

“Now, don’t you say that, Rose,” I said. “Please, please don’t. I’ve been a long time figuring things out, and now I finally done it; I finally explained things to myself, and I had to explain ‘em, Rose, or go crazy. An’ even now, sometimes, I find a doubt or so creepin’ in, and I can’t stand it, I honest to God can’t stand it. So, please, honey, please don’t . . . don’t . . .”

I turned and stumbled off to my bedroom.

I prayed mightily and pretty soon I got a grip on myself, and my doubts went away. I prayed mightily and the strength flowed back into me, and I didn’t hardly mind at all the names that Rose was fussin’ and cussin’ at me. And I could even have kissed her goodbye when she left, and maybe’ve given her a pinch or two, if she hadn’t threatened to brain me if I so much as touched her.

24

I went to church like always, and I was asked to sing in the choir like I’d been doin’ up until the time it had hooked hike Sam Gaddis was going to beat me out for sheriff. So I sang out loud an’ clear, shouting the praises of the Lord,and god-dang if I didn’t practically raise the roof with Amens when the minister started preachin’. I reckon I must’ve prayed and shouted an’ sang louder than anyone in the church, and after everything was over the minister wrung me by the hand and called me Brother, and said he saw the spirit was truly in me.

“And where is good Sister Myra today? Not ill, I hope.”

“Well, no, I reckon not,” I said. “She and Lennie drove out to see Sister Rose Hauck last night, and I didn’t discover until this morning that the horse had run off and come back to town by hisself. I guess that’s what happened, anyway, because the horse is in the stable an’ she and Lennie ain’t come home yet.”

“Yes?” He frowned a little. “But haven’t you phoned the Hauck house?”

“Oh, I didn’t see no point in that,” I said. “I couldn’t have picked her up, anyway, before church and I sure didn’t want to miss church. I figured I’ll probably drive out in time to bring her in for evenin’ services.”

“Yes,” he said, still kind of frowning. “Well . . .”

“Hallelujah!” I said. “Praise the Lord, Brother!”

I went on home, and fixed myself a bite to eat. Then I washed up the dishes, and put ‘em away, and after I’d done that I went into my room and dropped down on the bed. Just laid there, doin’ nothing in particular and not workin’ very hard at it.

I found a long hair sticking out of my nose, and I jerked it out and looked at it, and it didn’t look particularly interesting. I dropped it to the floor, wonderin’ if falling hair from fella’s noses was noted along with fallin’ sparrows. I raised up on one cheek of my butt, and eased out one of those long rattly farts, like you never can get rid of when other folks are around. I scratched my balls, tryin’ to decide at what point a fella stopped scratchin’ and started playin’. Which is an age-old question, I guess, and one that ain’t likely to be solved in the near future.