I had no idea where anything was and had to take a few moments to study the signs above miles of rows. Boxing gloves were on sale, and there were exercise machines capable of tortures I did not know. Racks of clothes for every sport were endless and in blazing colors, and I wondered what had happened to civilized white, which was still what I wore on the much-appreciated occasion I found time to play tennis. I deduced that knives would be with camping and hunting gear, a generous area against the back wall. There were bows and arrows, targets, tents, canoes, mess kits, and camouflage, and at this hour, I was the only woman who seemed interested. At first, no one was inclined to wait on me as I patiently hovered over a showcase of knives.

A sunburnt man was looking for a BB gun for his son’s tenth birthday, while an older man in a white suit was inquiring about snakebite kits and mosquito repellent. When my patience was no more, I interrupted.

“Excuse me,” I said.

The clerk, who was college age, didn’t seem to hear me at first.

“Thing is, you should check with your doctor before using a snakebite kit,” the clerk was saying to the elderly man in white.

“How the hell am I supposed to do that when I’m out in the middle of the woods somewhere and some copperhead’s just bit me?”

“I meant check with him before you go out in the woods, sir.”

As I listened to their backward logic I could stand it no longer.

“Snakebite kits are not only useless, but they’re harmful,” I said. “Tourniquets and local incision, sucking out the venom and all that just make matters worse. If you get bitten,” I said to the man in white, “what you need to do is immobilize that part of your body, and avoid damaging first aid, and get to a hospital.”

The two men were startled.

“So there’s no point in taking anything along?” the man in white asked me. “No point in buying anything, you’re saying?”

“Nothing but a good pair of boots and a walking stick you can poke around with,” I replied. “Stay out of tall grass and don’t stick your hands into hollows or holes. Since venom is transported through the body by the lymphatic system, broad compression bandages—like an Ace bandage—are good, and a splint to keep the limb absolutely immobilized.”

“You some kind of doctor?” the clerk asked.

“I’ve dealt with snake bites before.”

I didn’t add that in those instances, the victims had not lived.

“I’m just wondering if you have knife sharpeners here,” I said to the clerk.

“Kitchen sharpeners or ones for camping?”

“Let’s start with camping,” I said.