"Diesel."

Silence.

"Hello?" I said to Valerie.

"Are you sure you want to marry him?"

"Yep. Can you come to the wedding?"

"Sure," Valerie said. "What time?"

"Four o'clock. And I'm going to get married at home."

"Does Mom know?"

"Not yet."

"Oh boy."

"Maybe we shouldn't tell her," I said. "Maybe we should just all show up."

"That sounds like a better way to go," Valerie said. "If you give her four hours, she'll hire caterers and a band and have the house filled with flowers and two hundred people."

"Yeah, but I can count on you and Albert to be there, right?"

"Absolutely. Are you pregnant?"

"Uh, maybe."

"This will be so amazing. We can have our babies together."

"I didn't say for sure."

"I know, and I won't tell anyone. My mouth is zippered shut."

"Thanks, Val."

Bob was in the kitchen, smiling at me.

"Wipe that goofy expression off your face," I said to Bob. "You're not fooling anyone. You ate my couch. There are big holes in all the cushions, and all the insides are coming out."

There was a piece of fiberfill stuck to Bob's lip. I picked it off and dropped it on the floor with all the other big fluffy blobs of fiberfill.

"I hope this works," I said to Bob. "The alternative is stun gun, and I don't think that would look great in Val's wedding album."

I took Bob out for a walk around the block. When he was empty, we drove to the bonds office.

Lula and Connie were huddled together when I walked in.

"Look at this big-ass box of chocolates I got," Lula said, working her way around a lump of caramel. "I got it from my sweetie for Valentine's Day. This here's gonna be the best Valentine's Day ever."

Connie and Lula had the huge red heart sitting on Connie's desk. The top was off and the box was half empty.

"You better get some before they're all gone," Connie said to me. "We decided this was lunch."

"Which sweetie sent this?" I asked Lula.

"The big sweetie," Lula said. "And anyways, I only got one sweetie now. He's my great huge gigantic hunk of burning love. You don't think Ranger will actually kill him, do you?"

"Ranger and Tank are like brothers."

"Yeah, but remember in The Godfather where they offed poor Fredo?"

"Ranger's not going to off Tank."

I suspected Ranger would privately think the whole jail thing was pretty funny.

"What's up today?" Lula wanted to know.

"I'm going to check on Jeanine and Charlene and Larry Burlew. Want to ride along?"

"Hell yeah. I could use some air after eating all this candy. I'm feeling seasick. And what's with that nasty red thing in the middle of your forehead? You keep scratching at it. And you got another one in the middle of your cheek."

I ran to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. I had hives! Shit. Double shit.

First stop was the drugstore for salve. Second stop was the DMV. Charlene was behind the counter, looking all smiley-faced. She waved when she saw us, and we cut to the front of the line.