"Any luck?" Diesel asked.

"None. How about you?"

"Zip."

I felt my cell phone buzz. It was Larry Burlew, and I could barely understand what he was saying. He was talking at warp speed and stuttering.

"It's n-n-not working," he said. "I don't know what to s-s-say to her. She comes over with coffee whenever I wave, but I don't know what to say. What should I say? I just s-s-say thank you. I thought I could talk to her, but nothing comes out. I d-d-don't think I can drink much more coffee, but I can't stop myself from waving."

"How many cups have you had?"

"I d-d-don't know. I lost count. Twelve or fifteen, I think."

"We're on our way," I told him. "Try to hang in there, and for God's sake, don't drink any more coffee."

6

Larry Burlew was pacing when we walked into the shop.

"I don't feel good," he said. "I think I'm having a heart attack. My heart is racing. And my eye is twitching. I hate when my eye twitches like this. Maybe I need a cup of coffee to settle my nerves."

"Put a coat on him and walk him around outside in the cold," I told Diesel. "See if you can get some of the caffeine out of his system."

"Who'll take care of the shop?" Burlew asked. "I can't walk out on the shop."

"I'll take care of the shop," I told him. "No one comes in at this time of the day. Don't worry about it."

Five minutes later, a woman walked in and wanted a pork roast deboned and rolled.

"I'm just the assistant butcher," I told her. "I'm not allowed to debone. The real butcher will be back in an hour, but I'm not sure he'll be fit to use sharp tools. How about a nice roasting chicken?"

"I don't want a chicken," she said. "I need a pork roast."

"Okay, how about this. I'll give it to you for free if you'll take it with the bone in. It's a special promotional deal."

"I guess that would be okay," the woman said.

I took a roast out of the display case, wrapped it in white butcher paper, and gave it to the woman.

"Have a nice day," I told her.

Twenty minutes later, Diesel returned with Burlew.

"How's he doing?" I asked Diesel.

"He's stopped stuttering, and his eye has almost completely stopped twitching. I had to bring him back because I think his nose is frostbitten. This weather sucks. I'm putting in for an assignment in the Bahamas after this."

"Can you do that?"

"No. I go where I'm needed. There aren't a lot of people who can do my job."

"Were there any customers?" Burlew asked.

"No," I told him. "Nobody bought anything."

"The coffee delivery scheme isn't working," Diesel said. "We need to think of something else."

"The coffee delivery scheme is perfectly okay. It's Burlew we need to fix. He needs practice," I said. "I'm going to be the coffee person, and you be Larry. I'll walk in, and you start a conversation with me, so he can see how it's done."