Playing With Fire
Playing with Fire (Skulduggery Pleasant #2)
Derek Landy
This book is dedicated to my family -- because otherwise I'd never hear the end of it. . .
Nadine -- Warm, kind, and considerate, I am all of these
things.
Audrey -- The greatest thrill of your life is probably the fact that I'm your brother.
Ivan -- Meaningless words such as "brilliant," "amazing," and "inspirational" have been used to describe me, but not
nearly enough.
If any of you thought that there'd be something sincere or heartfelt in your dedications, allow me a moment to quietly
laugh at you. ...
Because the heartfelt sincerity is reserved for my nana.
Chic, this book is also dedicated to you, for all the love and support you've shown me over the years. I love you much
more than any of your other grandchildren do, I swear.
iv
CONTENTS
v
Twenty-two Blood and Shadows 211
Twenty-three Elephants and Bunnies 225
Twenty-four Argus 232
Twenty-five A Smattering of Slaughtering 238
Twenty-six Murder in the New Morgue 245
Twenty-seven Rise of the Grotesquery 250
Twenty-eight Good Guys Convene 263
Twenty-nine Picking Up a Tail 265
Thirty Fight 282
Thirty-one The Edgley Family Reunion
Thing 286
Thirty-two Shadow Shards 298
Thirty-three The Calm Before the Storm 305
Thirty-four Unfinished Business 314
Thirty-five Attack of the Vampires 320
Thirty-six Giant Spider Madness 326
Thirty-seven Tooth and Claw 331
Thirty-eight Those About to Die ... 340
Thirty-nine Facing Vengeous 353
Forty Fight to the Death 363
Forty-one Billy-Ray Sanguine's Erstwhile
Employer 382
Forty-two Bad Things 385
vi
[Page Blank]
1
Chapter One
Hanging Around
VALKYRIE CAIN hit the parapet and tumbled, unable to stop herself, and with a panicked gasp she disappeared off the edge. The church tower stood high and proud, looking out over Dublin City. The night breeze was brisk and carried snatches of laughter from the street below. It was a long way down. A man in a tattered coat walked up to the edge and peered over. He smirked.
"This is insulting," he said. "Don't they know how dangerous I am? I am very, very dangerous. I'm a killer. I'm a trained killing machine. And still, they send you. A child."
2
Valkyrie felt her grip on the ledge loosen. She ignored the goading of the man standing above her and looked around for something else to grab on to. She looked everywhere but down. Down was where the street was, where the long drop and the sudden stop was. She didn't want to look down. She didn't want anything to do with down right now.
"What age are you?" the man continued. "Thirteen? What kind of responsible adult sends a thirteen-year-old child to stop me? What kind of thinking is that?"
Valkyrie swung herself gently toward the tower, planting her feet against a small buttress. The fear started to work through her, and she felt herself freeze up. She closed her eyes against the oncoming wave of paralysis.
The man was Vaurien Scapegrace, currently wanted in five countries for various counts of attempted murder. He hunkered down at the edge and smiled happily.
"I am turning murder into an art form. When I-- When I kill, I'm actually painting a big, big picture, using blood and, and ... messiness. You know?"
Below Valkyrie, the city twinkled.
3
"I'm an artist," Scapegrace continued. "Some people don't appreciate that. Some people don't recognize true talent when they see it. And that's fine. I'm not bitter. My time will come."
"Serpine tried to bring the Faceless Ones back," Valkyrie managed to say. Her fingers were burning, and the muscles in her legs were screaming at her. "We stopped him. We'll stop you, too."
He laughed. "What, you think I want the old gods to walk the Earth once again? Is that it? You think Nefarian Serpine was my leader? I'm not one of those nut-bag disciples, all right? I'm my own man."
Valkyrie had one chance, but she needed to be calm to take advantage of it. Her powers, limited though they were, were Elemental-- the manipulation of earth, air, fire, and water. But at this stage of her training they didn't work when she was panicking.
"So if you don't want the Faceless Ones to return," she said, "what do you want? Why are you doing this?"
He shook his head. "You wouldn't understand. It's grown-up stuff. I just want a little appreciation for who I am, that's all. That's not much to ask, is
4
it? But of course, you wouldn't know. You're just a kid." He shrugged. "Oh well. Time to die."
He reached down to shove her.
"Have you killed anyone?" she asked quickly.
"What? Did you miss what I said, about turning murder into an art form?"
"But you haven't actually killed anyone yet, have you? I read your file."
He glowered. "Technically, yeah, all right, maybe I haven't, but tonight's the night. You're going to be my first."
She readied herself, controlled her breathing. "Find the space where everything connects," she murmured.
Scapegrace frowned. "What?"
Valkyrie kicked upward, taking her right hand from the outcrop and feeling the air against her palm. She pushed at it the way she'd been taught, and it shimmered and hit Scapegrace, throwing him off his feet. Valkyrie clutched at the edge of the parapet, her legs swinging in open air. She grunted and pulled herself up, then flung her left arm across the edge and hauled herself the rest of the way.
Valkyrie got to her feet, her arms and legs trembling after the strain, and moved away from the
5
edge. The wind whipped her dark hair across her face.
Scapegrace was already getting up, and she saw anger seep into his features. She clicked her fingers, generating a spark that she caught in her hand. She tried to focus, tried to build it into a flame, but Scapegrace was coming at her like a freight train.
She jumped and thrust out both feet. Her boots slammed into his chest, and he hit the ground again and went sprawling.
He turned to her just as she lashed a kick into his jaw. His body twisted and he tumbled back, came up to his feet, then lost his balance, fell again. He spat blood and glared.
"You little brat," he snarled. "You uppity, sneaky little brat. You don't know who you're messing with, do you? I am going to be the greatest killer the world has ever known." He stood up slowly, wiping his sleeve across his burst lip. "When I'm finished with you, I'm going to deliver your mutilated, bloody corpse to your masters, as a warning. They sent you up against me, alone. Next time they're going to have to send a battalion."
Valkyrie smiled, and Scapegrace's anger flared. "What the hell is so funny?"
6
"First of all," she said, her confidence growing, "they're not my masters. I don't have a master. Second, they don't need a battalion to take you down. And third-- and this really is the most important point-- whoever said I came alone?"
Scapegrace frowned, turned, saw someone walking up behind him-- a skeleton in a black suit-- and he tried to attack, but a gloved fist hit his face, a foot hit his shin, and an elbow slammed into his chest. He fell in an awkward heap.
Skulduggery Pleasant turned to Valkyrie. "You all right?"
"I'll kill you both!" Scapegrace howled.
"Hush," Skulduggery said.
Scapegrace launched himself forward and Skulduggery moved in to him, grabbed his outstretched arm, and spun him around, then abruptly cut him off by slamming a forearm into his throat. Scapegrace flipped in midair, landed painfully.
Skulduggery turned to Valkyrie again.
"I'm okay," she said. "Really."
Scapegrace had his hands to his face. "I think you broke my nose!"
They ignored him.
"He talks a lot," Valkyrie said, "but I don't think
7
he knows what all the words mean."
Scapegrace leaped up. "I am the Killer Supreme! I make murder into an art form!"
Skulduggery hit him again, and Scapegrace did a little twirl before falling.
"Vaurien Scapegrace," he said, "by the power endowed unto me under the Sanctuary Rule of Justice, I am placing you under arrest for the attempted murder of Alexander Remit and Sofia Toil in Oregon, Cothurnus Ode and Armiger Fop in Sydney, Gregory Castallan and Bartholomew-- "
Scapegrace tried one last desperate attack, which Skulduggery cut short by punching him very hard on the nose. The Killer Supreme wobbled, and he collapsed and started crying.
8
Chapter Two
KILLER ON THE LOOSE
THE CAR WAS A 1954 Bentley R-Type Continental. It sliced through the quiet Dublin night like a black shark, gleaming and powerful. It was a beautiful car. Valkyrie had grown to love it almost as much as Skulduggery did.
They turned onto O'Connell Street, passed the Spire and the Pearse Monument. Scapegrace sat in the back and complained that the shackles were too tight. It was four in the morning. Valkyrie fought a yawn.
This time last year she would have been in bed,
9
snuggled up and dreaming about . . . well, whatever it was she dreamed about back then. Things were a lot different now, and she was lucky if she could get a few hours' sleep a night. If she wasn't going up against crazies like Scapegrace, she was practicing magic, and if she wasn't practicing magic, she was training to fight with either Skulduggery or Tanith. These days, her life was a lot more exciting, a lot more fun, and a lot more dangerous. In fact, one of the major downsides to her new life was that she rarely had sweet dreams anymore. When she slept, it was the nightmares that came to her. They waited patiently, and they were always eager to play.
But that was the cost, she reasoned. The cost of living a life of adventure and excitement.
The owners of the Waxworks Museum had closed it down after the events of the previous year, and set up a new and improved version in another part of the city. The building now stood quietly beside its neighbors, humble and drab, its front doors closed and locked and sealed. But Valkyrie and Skulduggery had never used the front doors anyway.
They parked in the loading area at the back and
10
took Scapegrace in through the rear door. The corridors were dimly lit, and they walked past the lonely historical figures and cinematic icons that had been left here to collect dust. Valkyrie traced her hand along the wall to find the switch, and the door slid open beside her. She led the way through and down the steps, her mind flashing back to the summer of the previous year, when she had stepped into the Sanctuary's foyer littered with dead bodies. . . .
Today, however, there were no corpses in sight. Two Cleavers stood guard against the far wall, dressed all in gray, their scythes strapped to their backs, visored helmets pointing straight ahead. The Cleavers acted as the Sanctuary's law enforcers and its army. Silent and lethal, they still gave Valkyrie the creeps.
The double doors to their left opened and the new Grand Mage, Thurid Guild, came out to them. He looked to be in his sixties, with thinning gray hair and a lined face and cold eyes.
"You found him, then," Guild said. "Before or after he managed to kill someone?"
"Before," Skulduggery said. Guild grunted, and
11
gestured to the Cleavers. They stepped forward, and Scapegrace shrank away from them. They took him firmly by the arms and he didn't resist. He even stopped whining about his broken nose as they led him away.
Valkyrie looked back at Guild. He wasn't a friendly man by any means, but he seemed especially uncomfortable around her, like he wasn't yet sure if he should take her seriously. He tended to speak directly to Skulduggery, and only glanced at Valkyrie when she asked a question.
"A situation has arisen that requires your attention," he said now. "This way."
Skulduggery fell into step beside the Grand Mage, but Valkyrie stayed two paces behind. Guild had taken over as head of the Council of Elders, but he still had to select the two sorcerers who would rule with him. It was a long and arduous process, apparently, but Valkyrie suspected she knew who would be Guild's first choice. He was a man who respected power, after all, and there were few more powerful in this world than Mr. Bliss.
They walked into a room with a long table, and Mr. Bliss rose-- bald, tall, and broad-shouldered,
12
with eyes a piercing blue.
"I have received some disturbing news," Bliss said, getting straight to the point as usual. "It seems that Baron Vengeous has been freed from the confinement facility in Russia."
Skulduggery was silent for a moment. When he spoke, he spoke slowly. "How did he get out?"
"Violently, from the reports we've been getting," Guild said. "Nine Cleavers were killed, along with approximately one third of the prisoners. His cell, like all the cells, was securely bound. Nobody should have been able to use magic in any of them."
Valkyrie raised an eyebrow, and Skulduggery answered her unspoken question. "Baron Vengeous was one of Mevolent's infamous Three Generals. Dangerously fanatical, extremely intelligent, and very, very powerful. I saw him look at a colleague of mine, and my colleague ruptured."
"Ruptured?"
Skulduggery nodded. "All over the place." He turned to Guild. "Do we know who freed him?"
The Grand Mage shook his head. "According to the Russians, one wall of his cell was cracked. Still
13
solid, but cracked, like something had hit it. That's the only clue we have at the moment."
"The prison's location is a closely guarded secret," Bliss said. "It is well hidden and well protected. Whoever is behind this had inside knowledge."
Guild made a face. "That's the Russians' problem, not ours. The only thing we have to concern ourselves with is stopping Vengeous."
"You think he'll come here, then?" Valkyrie asked.
Guild looked at her, and she saw his fist clench. He probably didn't even realize he was doing it, but it signaled to Valkyrie loud and clear that he still didn't like her.
"Vengeous will come home, yes. He has a history here." He looked at Skulduggery. "We have already sent our people to airports and docks around the country, in the hope of preventing him from entering. But you know better than anyone how difficult the Baron is to . . . contain."
"Indeed," Skulduggery murmured.
"I think we can assume," Guild continued, "that if Baron Vengeous is not already here, then he will
14
be arriving shortly. You arrested him eighty years ago. I'm relying on you to do it again."
"I'll do my best."
"Do better, Detective."
Skulduggery observed Guild for a moment before answering. "Of course, Grand Mage."
Guild dismissed them with a curt nod, and as they were walking back through the corridors, Valkyrie spoke.
"Guild doesn't like me."
"That's true."
"He doesn't like you, either."
"That is mystifying."
"So what about Vengeous? Is he bad news?"
"The worst. I don't think he's ever forgotten the time I threw a bundle of dynamite at him. It didn't kill him, obviously, but it definitely ruined his day."
"Is he all scarred now?"
"Magic gets rid of most physical scars, but I like to think that I scarred him emotionally."
"How about on the Evil Villain Scale? Ten being Serpine, one being Scapegrace?"
"The Baron, unfortunately, turns it all the way up to eleven."
15
"Seriously? Because, you know, that's one more evil."
"It is indeed."
"So we're in trouble, then."
"Oh yes," Skulduggery said darkly.
16
Chapter Three
VENGEOUS
The first thing Baron Vengeous did when he set foot on Irish soil was murder someone. He would have preferred to arrive without incident, to have stepped off the boat and disappeared into the city, but his hand had been forced. He had been recognized.
The sorcerer had seen him, picked him out in the crowd as he disembarked. Vengeous had walked away, led the sorcerer somewhere quiet, out of the way. It was an easy kill. He had taken the sorcerer by surprise. A brief struggle, and Vengeous's arm had wrapped around the man's throat. He hadn 't even needed to use his magic.
17
Once he had disposed of the body, Vengeous walked deeper into Dublin City, relishing the freedom that was his again after so long.
He was tall and his chest was broad; his tightly cropped beard the same gun-metal gray as his hair. His clothes were dark, the jacket buttons polished to a gleam, and his boots clacked on the lamplit sidewalks. Dublin had changed dramatically since he 'd been here last. The world had changed dramatically.
He heard the quiet footsteps behind him. He stopped but he didn't turn. The man in black had to walk around him, into his line of sight.
"Baron," the man said in greeting.
"You're late."
"I'm here, which is the main thing."
Vengeous looked into the man's eyes. "I do not tolerate insubordination, Mr. Dusk. Perhaps you have forgotten. "
"Times have changed," Dusk responded evenly. "The war is over."
"Not for us."
A taxi passed, and the sweeping headlights illuminated Dusk's pale face and black hair.
"Sanguine isn 't with you," he noted.
Vengeous resumed walking, Dusk by his side. "He
18
will join us soon, have no fear."
"Are you sure you can trust him? I appreciate that he freed you from prison, but it took him eighty years to do it."
Had Dusk been any other man, this remark would have been the height of hypocrisy, as he himself had not lifted one finger to help Vengeous either. But Dusk was not any other man. Dusk was scarcely a man, and as such, loyalty was not in his nature. A certain level of obedience, perhaps, but not loyalty. Because of this, Vengeous harbored no resentment toward him.
The resentment he harbored toward Sanguine, on the other hand . . .
Dusk's breathing suddenly became strained. He reached into his coat, fumbled with a syringe, then jabbed the needle into his forearm. He depressed the plunger, forcing the colorless liquid into his bloodstream, and moments later he was breathing regularly again.
"I'm glad to see you're still in control," Vengeous said.
Dusk put the syringe away. "I wouldn 't be much good to you if I wasn't, would I? What do you need me to do?"
"There will be some obstacles to our work, some enemies we will no doubt face. The Skeleton Detective, for example. Apparently he has an apprentice now -- a dark-haired girl. You will wait for them outside the Sanctuary,
19
tonight, and you will follow them, and when she is alone, you will fetch her for me."
"Of course."
"Alive, Dusk."
There was a hesitation. "Of course," Dusk repeated.
Chapter Four
THE BEAUTY, THE BEAST
20
THEY LEFT THE Sanctuary and drove across town, until they came to a street lined with ugly tenement buildings. Skulduggery parked the Bentley, wrapped his scarf around his jaw, and pulled his hat down low, and they got out.
"I notice you haven't mentioned how I was thrown off a tower tonight," Valkyrie said as they crossed the road.
"Does it need mentioning?" Skulduggery queried.
"Scapegrace threw me off a tower. If that doesn't require mentioning, then what does?"
"I knew you could handle it."
21
"It was a tower."
Valkyrie led the way into one of the tenement buildings.
"You've been thrown off higher," Skulduggery said.
"Yes, but you were always there to catch me."
"So you've learned a valuable lesson: There will be times when I'm not there to catch you."
"See, that sounds to me like a lesson I could have been told."
"Nonsense. This way, you'll never forget."
Skulduggery removed his disguise as they climbed the stairs. Just as they reached the second floor, Valkyrie stopped and turned to him.
"Was it a test?" she asked. "I mean, I know I'm still new at this, I'm still the rookie. Did you hang back to test me, to see if I'd be able to handle it alone?"
"Well, kind of," he said. "Actually, no, nothing like that. My shoelace was untied. That's why I was late. That's why you were alone."
"I could have been killed because you were tying your shoelace?"
"An untied shoelace can be dangerous," he said. "I could have tripped."
22
She stared at him. A moment dragged by.
"I'm joking," he said at last.
She relaxed. "Really?"
"Absolutely. I would never have tripped. I'm far too graceful."
He moved past her and she glowered, then followed him to the third floor. They walked to the middle door, and a slight man with a bow tie opened it and let them in.
The library was a vast labyrinth of tall bookcases, one that Valkyrie had managed to get herself lost in no fewer than eleven times. It seemed to amuse Skulduggery whenever she found herself at a dead end, or even better, back where she had started, so she let him lead the way.
China Sorrows passed in front of them, wearing a dark trouser suit with her black hair tied off her face. She stopped and smiled when she saw them. The most exquisitely beautiful woman Valkyrie had ever seen, China had a habit of making people fall in love with her at first glance.
"Skulduggery," she said. "Valkyrie. So good to see you both. What brings the Sanctuary's esteemed investigators back to my door? I'm assuming it is Sanctuary business?"
23
"You assume correctly," Skulduggery said. "And I'm sure you already know why we're here."
Her smile turned coy. "Let me think ... a certain recently liberated Baron? You want to know if I've heard any particularly juicy rumors?"
"Have you?" Valkyrie asked.
China hesitated, looked around, and gave them another smile. "Let us talk privately," she said, leading them out of the library and across the hall, into her luxurious apartment. Once Skulduggery had closed the door, she took a seat.
"Tell me, Valkyrie," she said, "how much do you know about Baron Vengeous?"
Valkyrie sat on the couch but Skulduggery remained standing. "Not a whole lot," she said. "He's dangerous, I know that much."
"Oh yes," China agreed, her blue eyes twinkling in the lamplight. "Very dangerous. He is a fanatical follower of the Faceless Ones, and there is nothing more dangerous than a zealot. Along with Nefarian Serpine and Lord Vile, Vengeous was one of Mevolent's most trusted generals. He was assigned to their most secret operations. Have you ever heard of the Grotesquery, my dear?"
Valkyrie shook her head.
24
"Before he was caught, Baron Vengeous was given the task of resurrecting a Faceless One from the remains found in a long-forgotten tomb."
Valkyrie frowned. "Is that even possible? Bringing one of them back to life after all this time?"
The Story Continues on BooksBarbecue!
Enjoyed this preview? ❤️ Do not stop here!
Read the complete book free online → 🔗
Continue reading now on BooksBarbecue and discover every page!
Love reading? Bookmark BooksBarbecue.com for more amazing books!
Happy Reading!