“Well, then you better get it looked at. I think it’s spreading across your back. Oh, yeah, and your ass, too.”

“Why are you talking to me like this?”

“I’m only doing you a favor, pointing out the things that others won’t. And while we’re on the subject…aren’t you getting a bit thin up top all of a sudden?”

“Huh?”

“I mean, don’t let it get you down or anything. Some girls really go for the whole balding thing.” She winked and made a clicking sound with her cheek. “Unfortunately, I’m not one of them.”

Booker’s fists clenched. “I’m not going bald. I’ve just been stressed—you know, with the season and all.”

“Yeah. Sure. Right. Look, I gotta go.”

“Already? You can’t go now.”

“Yeah, why?”

He was about to tell her that watching her apply her lip gloss had given him an erection, but as it turned out, he didn’t have to.

“What the hell is that?!” She pointed at the protrusion in his gym shorts.

Booker smiled lovingly. “You gave me a boner.”

“Well, keep it away from me.”

“But it’s because of you, baby.”

“I’m leaving.”

“But you can’t. Not now!”

“You’re a freak! Your whole family is freaks! Juicer!” She left the room.

“I’m not a juicer!”

A voice called out from down the hall. “Booker, is that you?”

“Go back to sleep, Mom!” Booker started after Nina, but it was too late. The front door slammed.

The phone rang on the dresser behind him. “Christ, Manny!” He swiveled around to pick up the receiver and knocked over a picture of his stepmother with his aroused manhood. The frame tumbled off the nightstand and shattered on the floor. “Shit!”

“Booker, what’s going on?”

“I said go back to sleep, Mom!” He fumbled with the receiver before it got to his ear. “Hello, goddamnit!”

“Booker, it’s me, Manny. What’s up, bro?”

“My dick!”

Manny laughed. “Nina still playing Mother Teresa with you?”

“Speaking of mothers, can you hold on while I pull out of yours?”

“Real funny, bro.”

“So how’d it go at the pep rally?”

“Perfect. I think. From our spot in the bushes across the street, the explosions sounded like fucking Hiroshima.”

“Like what?”

“You know, that bomb we dropped on the Nam. Anyway, our little prank might have taken half the damn night to set up, but I think it was well worth the trouble.”

“Did you and Elray get away clean?”

“Clean as a homecoming queen, bro.”

“Anyone see you?”

“I just told you, bro, we’re clean.” Booker heard Manny and Elray exchange a high five on the other end of the line. Manny said, “Me and Elray watched the whole crowd run out of that gym like scared, blood-splattered little pussies. It was S-W-E-E-T.”