I sat up in bed, took the bowl from him and rested it on my lap, looking down at it.

He sat on the edge of the bed. When he spoke, his voice was calm and low. ‘Don’t think this means you are forgiven for attacking me,’ he said. ‘The way you’ve treated me, you’ve got a lot of apologising to do.’

*

I didn’t need to undress for bed because I hadn’t got dressed that day. When Matty came to bed, I rose and used the toilet, brushed my teeth, that was all I needed to do. When I got back to the bedroom, he had already turned the light off.

As I huddled beneath the duvet, I thought, I wonder what will happen if I don’t go to the school tomorrow, will this be the beginning of the process where I lose my job? Is this the start of me losing everything? Matty hates me, he’ll move out soon. With my job gone how will I pay the mortgage? It is unconscionable behaviour for a teacher to just not show up, no explanation, to not even answer their calls. It will have caused all sorts of problems for Adrian. But then, that’s the kind of person I am, the kind of person who lets everybody down. To my surprise, I fell asleep.

*

I was woken by Matty shaking my shoulder and talking to me in a loud voice. ‘Where is it then? Where is it, Lisa? Fuck’s sake!’

I blinked hard and propped myself up on one elbow. ‘Where is what?’ I said blearily. Dear God, I was in the deepest of sleeps just then. It was the first deep sleep for ages. Why was Matty shaking me awake?

He got out of bed and began to pace up and down the room. He could only go a few steps before he had to turn, like a tiger in a cage.

‘It’s Ian, isn’t it?’ he said. ‘I’ve worked it out. That’s why you’re doing this to me. You’re seeing Ian, and this is all some plot to treat me like shit so I’ll walk out and make it easy for you, isn’t it? Isn’t it?’

‘No, Matty.’ I sat up and put my head in my hands. God, that sleep I was in was so sweet. ‘No … no … I haven’t seen Ian in months … Where’s what?’

He stepped towards me and grabbed two fistfuls of my pyjama top and pulled me in close. ‘Where. Is. My. Apology. Where is it, Lisa? Where? You can’t treat me like this!’ He pushed me back onto the bed. Then he turned and, with a shout of frustration, began pacing again.