JAN 26, 1986

Dear Bridget,

T-minus two days until Challenger launch.

Mrs. Steele came today. She talked to Billy and Francine. She told them about your boyfriend and running away and the bad grades you were getting.

Francine said you fell through a crack and I fell through a crack and even Mama fell through a crack and she sounded mad about it.

I don’t know what crack she’s talking about.

I know it’s not okay to step on a crack. Mama used to say that.

“Don’t step on a crack or you’ll break your mother’s back!”

I remember one time Mama was walking me to the store and I did step on a crack and then I cried and cried and cried because I thought her back was broken, but she picked me up and laughed and laughed and carried me the rest of the way so I guess it didn’t hurt too bad.

Billy thinks your boyfriend was a bad influence. I do not know what influence means, but I thought he was bad too. I know you liked him, but I did not. He sang too loud and drove too fast and he was always taking you away from me.

I was mad at you the day I met him, Bridget.

I was mad at you even though it was your birthday.

I was mad because we were supposed to go straight to Sugarbaker’s Sweets Shoppe to get ice cream cones with rainbow sprinkles, but you took us to that boy’s house instead.

I was mad because you said “I’ll be quick!” but you were not quick.

I was mad because I could hear you talking to him and laughing with him and kissing on him while I was supposed to be watching TV.

I did not want to watch TV.

I was mad about that too. I was mad because I had to sit and watch the news when I was supposed to be eating rainbow sprinkles.

By the time the boy’s sister got home and all four of us were in the car, I didn’t even want ice cream anymore. I felt too sick in my stomach. I made a lot of noise because I wanted you to know I wanted to go home, but you buckled my seat belt and promised me rainbow sprinkles and asked me to “Pretty, pretty please, with a cherry on top, just be good.”

You handed me NASA Bear.

And it was your birthday.

So I tried to just be good.

But I know I was not that good. I know it was not good to accidentally step on his foot while we waited for a booth. I know it was not good to accidentally dip NASA Bear’s paw in his banana split. I know it was not good to accidentally throw my cherry at him…twice.

I did not try too hard to just be good.

I am sorry I did not try.

Before Mrs. Steele came today, Joanie took me to the diner. Just us. I was very good.

On the way back, we stopped by a cross on the side of the road. Joanie got sad but I don’t know why. She said it’s okay to miss someone we love when they’re not with us, but I already knew that. You told me the same thing a long time ago. You said it was okay to miss Mama but she was too sick to take care of us. Then, after the visits stopped, you said she went to Asteroid B-612 to “rake out her active volcanoes,” like the Little Prince in our book.

You said I should be happy because Mama wouldn’t feel sick in space.

You said she wasn’t coming back.

Tomorrow, Joanie will leave for college. But she will come back for Easter.

Bridget, tell me the truth.

Where is Mama?

You told me she went to space to feel better, but people come back from space. Like Buzz Aldrin. And Sally Ride. And Valentina Tereshkova.

Is Mama with the Little Prince, like you said?

Where are you?

I miss you.

Love,

Your Super Nova