JAN 18, 1986

Dear Bridget,

T-minus ten days until Challenger launch.

Today is Saturday. I don’t know how long it’s been since I got here, but you missed Christmas. I missed you on Christmas. It was not Christmas without you.

I’m sorry I did not write before today. My hands and arms and shoulders were hurting and I was tired. Plus maybe I was angry.

I am angry because you are gone.

I am angry because Christmas was not Christmas without you.

I am angry because only you can understand my letters, because everyone else calls them scribbles, because without you here to see the words I try to make, it’s like I’m writing to nobody.

I’m ready for you to come back.

I have a new foster family.

The mom is Francine West. She is tall and skinny with light skin and light hair. The dad is Billy West. He is shorter and rounder with dark skin and no hair. They have a daughter named Joanie West who lives here, except when she’s at college, plus three grown-up sons who live far away.

Francine says I am their first-ever foster child.

I laughed today and she did not yell “Stop making that weird noise!” like our last foster mother. Francine laughed when I laughed but it did not feel mean like when kids laugh.

Will you be mad, Bridget, if I laugh and you’re not here?

Will you be mad if I laugh with Francine?

I know you always say “Foster families are not forever families” and “We should not get attached,” but I think you might like Francine. She talks to me the way people talk to you. Not too loud and too slow, the way they talk to me.

She talks like I am a person.

This is a nice house, Bridget. There are four big bedrooms. One is for Billy and Francine, one is for Joanie, one is for me, and they said the downstairs one is for guests. My bedroom has a door in the back of the closet that goes to the attic, which is my favorite part of the house, even though there is a lot of dust that makes me sneeze. The attic is dark with sloped wooden ceilings and a round window at the far end. It is a perfect place to pretend to be in space.

In the upstairs living room, they have cable. Have you seen cable? Cable is where there are extra TV channels and one is called Nickelodeon, special for kids. Nickelodeon has a show of The Little Prince. The same one from our book! Joanie puts it on for me every single day and does not get mad when it makes me so happy I jump on the couch and squeak and flap. She just says “Sit quietly, Nova,” and then I try to sit quietly.

The launch is in ten days, Bridget. It was in the newspaper this morning. Billy read it out loud: “T-minus ten days until Challenger launches!”

I am glad it is ten days. I can count up to ten and I can count down from ten. Ten is my best number! Every countdown starts with ten.

This means you have ten days to find me so we can watch it together like you promised.

Maybe if you decide it’s okay to be a foster kid again, Francine and Billy will let you have the guest room.

It does not lead to the attic or even the basement, but it has carpeting.

Please come back.

I miss you.

Love,

Your Super Nova