I’m still not convinced any person should ever watch themselves having sex. It might be a fetish for some, but it’s not for me. That much I’ve learned. Camille doesn’t seem to have that much of a problem with it.

“It’s because you’re French,” I told her when we were watching it and I scrutinized her face for signs of cringing.

“It’s just sex, Zoya,” she said. “What’s more beautiful than two people enjoying themselves like that?”

“I can think of many things,” I replied in mild disgust.

“Don’t tell me I’ve gone and fallen in love with a prude.” She faked a shocked expression.

“Don’t tell me I’ve fallen in love with a woman who believes in the merits of porn.”

“Chérie,” she said, making me melt a little. “First of all, that video of you and me is as far removed from porn as can be. Second, I actually do believe that porn can fulfill a purpose. I’d be lying if I said I don’t watch it myself from time to time.” All of this with a straight face, looking right into her laptop’s camera.

“You watch porn?” I thought it was pretty clear from my offended tone that I didn’t.

“You mean you don’t?” She grimaced. “That explains a lot.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It explains your reaction to our video, for starters.”

“But… don’t you think porn vile and exploitative of women?”

“Not always, no. I’m not naive about it. But that doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy it once in a while.”

“So… what do you watch?”

“I’ve trawled through too many hours of fake lesbian porn featuring women with nails so long, you wouldn’t want them anywhere near you.” She chuckled. “But when you dig around a bit, you can find women-friendly videos. In which the women actually look like they’re enjoying it. That usually does the trick.”

“Is that how you remained a lesbian virgin for so long? By watching lesbian porn?”

She shook her head. “Not really. I have a pretty vivid imagination and I always had quite the crush on the principal at Ben’s school. I was quite sad when Ben left for university because it meant I would never see her again.”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Some things are harder to take when your partner is ten thousand miles away.

“I’m winding you up, chérie. You should know that by now.” She sat there grinning into the camera.

I wasn’t entirely convinced she was, but I managed a chuckle anyway.