I let my finger trace its own map of her body, moving my finger from one freckle to the next, touching her pale skin—a week in the southern sunshine hasn’t changed her complexion at all. I cup her breast, feeling its shape in my hand, her rigid nipple pressing into my palm. I brush my thumb over her nipple before leaning down and taking it into my mouth, sucking with an unfamiliar gentleness. I want this night to stand out so much, I’m willing to ignore the acute desire that is starting to make its presence known between my legs.

My desire is almost of no importance tonight. Perhaps because I know that, ultimately, it will get quenched in the most satisfying way, and then it will flare up again, when I’m on the plane, surrounded by strangers, and I won’t know what to do with myself, but the memory will warm me nonetheless.

I press her body down into the mattress and start kissing my way from one nipple to the other, determined to cover every last inch of her soft skin with gentle pecks, leaving invisible marks all over. Zoya was here. Zoya loves you. Marks she would only be able to see when she’s in a particular kind of mood. When our love is getting her down and she needs a dose of me. Because as much as I’m dreading my own anguish at being apart from her, I dread hers more. I love her and I want her to be as happy as possible at all times. Knowing that I’ll be her source of happiness and unhappiness at the same time is a crippling emotion.

I kiss her shoulders and neck, the sensitive spot just below her ear, and her cheeks as if it’s the first time I’ve ever planted my lips on them. Then I turn her around and kiss the back of her neck, along her spine, the delicious spot where her back curves into her buttocks. I drink in her skin, the tone of it, feel the texture on my fingertips, imprinting it all on my memory—and oh, the memories I’ve made on this trip. I lie on top of her, pressing my breasts into her back to envelop her body with mine, fold myself over her as though I want to wrap her up in me, take her with me on this long journey back.