“Will he be, what will he be, our father?” asked Charlie, looking confused.

“No!” roared Fiona before she could help it.

“Well, what?” asked Natasha.

“He’ll be…” Marlin thought about it. “Our very own on-site waste troll.”

Another Happy Middle

MR. Pennypacker arranged for the adoption. Al moved his trailer to the property and two noisy companies came to put in a septic field and run water lines and finally he was hooked up. Then the trailer went on cement blocks.

“I guess that means you’re not moving anywhere soon,” said Marlin.

“Look on the bright side, neither are you,” said Al.

The first Saturday he was there he took Fiona in the pickup to town to buy groceries.

“You really don’t have to do this,” said Fiona. “You don’t have to do anything differently. I don’t mind biking in.”

“I wanted to talk to you anyway,” said Al, looking at the road and not at her.

“Oh,” said Fiona. It was still awkward between them.

“If this arrangement is going to work we’re going to have to be friends,” said Al.

“We are friends,” said Fiona slowly. “Of a sort.”

“I mean I don’t want to feel like given half a chance you’d throw the kitchen knives at me.”

“I don’t dislike you,” said Fiona. “I really appreciate what you did. And I’ll try to keep everyone out of your hair. It’s the least we can do. Because of you the four of us can stay together and that’s all I ever wanted. I just don’t understand why you’re doing it.”

“What do you care why I’m doing it? Now that you’ve got your rear end in a tub of butter?”

“Is it because of Martha? Are you doing it for her? Like Mr. Pennypacker waived his fee and handled her estate because he was doing it for her? I mean Mr. Pennypacker says you even gave up beer. Or is it for Charlie?”

“Listen, the beer was more of, I don’t know, a bad habit. It was never a big deal for me, evidence of prom night aside.”

“Summer Fling, not prom,” corrected Fiona.

“Whatever. I just went on autopilot in a way after Martha rejected me. I didn’t seem to have any point. I didn’t know what to do with myself. My point had been her. But that’s over. And now I’ve started writing again so I need a clear head.”

“You’ve started writing again?”

“Yeah, well, we can’t have Marlin getting on the bestseller list before I have my next book out.”

“Wow. What are you writing about? Is it another biography?”

“First of all, I don’t talk about my books when I’m writing them. Secondly, no, it’s a novel. And to your former question, yes, partly I am taking the four of you on because of Martha. And partly because of Charlie. And partly I don’t know why. Masochism maybe. But here is the thing—you need to understand some things about this arrangement. I’m not just living on the property. I’m not just adopting you on paper. I’m doing it properly. Which means I will be picking up the bills.”