“Like a starving werewolf stumbling across dinner on two legs?” He took my glass and set it on the table. “What you’re afraid of, Hope, is that someday, just for a few minutes, the thing that you are will overtake the person that you are, and someone will die because of it. A werewolf deals with that from the day he first Changes.”

“But you can control it. You’ve never—”

“Three times. Twice in my teens, and I couldn’t even tell you who I killed. All I know is that I Changed and I woke stained with human blood. The third time, I was twenty, and I came to standing over the body of a man. Eating. Yes, most of the time, we can control it. It’s like you with chaos. You can resist the urge to do something you consider wrong. My father did what he could to teach me that, but he never had the chance to finish the lessons. There’s the instinct and it must be fed, and to the wolf there is no difference between a deer and a man. Both are prey. The wolf doesn’t feel sorry for the man, doesn’t consider the life he’s taking, doesn’t think of his wife and children, his mother and father. That’s the human’s job, and it’s the werewolf’s job to make sure the humanity in him doesn’t disappear. When I came to my senses that day, and saw what I’d done, I knew I had to make a choice.”

He shifted in the bed, turning onto his side, head propped up on his hand. “What happened to me happens to most werewolves at some point. They can decide that killing an innocent person proves they’re a monster who must die. Or they can keep killing, blaming it on the wolf. Or they can understand the urge and avoid temptation. Don’t Change in inhabited areas. Don’t Change when you’re too hungry. Don’t Change when you’ve been drinking. And, just as important, sublimate the urge, that need to hunt, by going after rabbits or deer…or diamonds.

“That’s what you need to do, Hope. Avoid temptation. Avoid situations where it may be too much for you—like signing up to spy for a Cabal. And sublimate the hunger with chaos you can enjoy without guilt. I can help with that, but only to a degree. There are jobs I know you’d enjoy more than the little ones I offer. But I won’t take you on them because later, you’d feel guilty. And, as you saw, sometimes I take risks myself. I have to, for the same reason you need to chase chaos. I can’t ever bring you on a job like that and put you in that danger. Not after my father.”

“I understand.”