I’ve been seeing Katie nonstop. She takes care of me. Our sex is deeply intimate and intense. And she’s very intelligent and insightful. She’s good for me. She’s got me to slow down on the dope and coke and booze. Which is good. I’d been pretty messed up lately and didn’t even notice it.

Did another reading at the Poetry Project and this time the place was packed. Standing room only. I guess I’ve arrived. Ginsberg was there. It’s obvious that the crowd loves my work. I’m good at reading in front of an audience. Still not making enough money.

Some people in Amsterdam are going to fly me over to work there for a month. And someone I know is setting up a string of gigs on the West Coast as part of a “New York Reads” series. They pay all the expenses plus a stipend of seventy-five dollars a day, which is pretty fucking cool. Plus the book royalties. It adds up.

I’ve begun a novel. The story I wrote about John was so good I’m expanding on it. Really explore the mind-set of a modern Renaissance man, circa 1977. It will be one of those “the rise and fall of” type novels. About how he put it all together when he was young, and what happened to him. How he ends up selling weed with his beautiful old lady and corrupts young impressionable minds. (Like myself.) (Did I get corrupted by him?) Oh and by the way, Leon left Esquire. They’re giving him his own imprint at Vintage. So I’m doing this book with him. Blake is ecstatic.

March 6, 1979

I am writing like a motherfucker. I’ve been totally clean for a month now. This is because of Katie. She has saved me. Plus we are getting pretty serious. It’s different with her now. She’s someone I can be affectionate with. Someone I can be honest with. Also I want to hear what she has to say. I want to love her. She’s so smart and so delicate and so sweet. It’s crazy, I have feelings for her I don’t think I’ve ever had with a woman. We can talk.

Katie is going home to visit her folks in Minneapolis next week. I promised her no boozing and no hard drugs while she’s gone.

March 8, 1979

It is an amazing gift to have someone in your life you can actually communicate with. Katie was born a thousand miles away, but one way or another we’ve come to see the world in such similar ways. I’m not saying we don’t have disagreements, but usually when I disagree with someone, I know I’m right. With Katie, it’s not like that. She’s that smart.

And she’s so sweet to me now. Not neurotic. She brings out the best in me. When she smiles, I feel something light up deep within me. Can I use the word “love” here? We even talk about how we both love kids. I could imagine having children with this woman.