Jeni noticed. They were sitting in the waiting room for his chemo appointment when she elbowed him in the ribs.

“Snap out of it,” she said.

“Shut up.”

“What are you, twelve?”

He scowled at her. “You told Mom about Lauren and me.”

“I had to. You hadn’t been answering her calls or texts, which is unlike you, and she was freaking out.”

He sighed. He wasn’t really angry about that. “Did you know Rhonda didn’t like Lauren?”

Jeni shrugged, like it wasn’t a big deal. “Rhonda doesn’t like anybody.”

Andrew guessed that was true, but he’d never really cared before. “Why not?”

“It’s how she is.” Jeni said it so matter-of-factly, and Andrew wondered if he should let it go. It was hard, though, not to take it personally. Funny how he hadn’t cared when they talked crap about Caroline, but when it was Lauren…that was a different thing entirely.

“Andrew Bishop?” a voice called out, halting their conversation. They walked together to the desk, and an employee Andrew didn’t recognize led them through the now familiar maze of chairs until they reached Mandi’s section. He sat in silence while the assistant took his vitals, and soon Mandi was pushing her cart in his direction.

Her expression was worried. “How are you?”

Andrew tipped his head to the side. Was she asking about him and Lauren?

“I read about the hospital admission in your chart,” Mandi continued. Oh, that. “We’re not giving you any more bleomycin. Just AVD now. But are you feeling okay?”

Andrew nodded. “I feel back to normal.” His lungs did, anyway. The rest of his chest felt empty, probably because his heart was missing.

She looked relieved. “I’m so glad. I keep thinking about it, wondering if there’s something I missed. I didn’t notice a cough or labored breathing last time, but I don’t think I specifically asked…”

“Stop it,” Andrew interrupted. “You’re the best nurse I could ask for. What is it with you people? Blaming yourselves for something like that? Don’t you know these things happen, and it’s no one’s fault?”

Mandi looked between him and Jeni, her expression serious. “It comes with the job. Anytime something goes wrong, I’ll always wonder if I could have done something differently.”

Andrew wasn’t sure he’d be able to carry that burden and thought it was a good thing he wasn’t in health care. But then he considered his job, and how he knew he’d feel at fault when a case didn’t go his way or if it didn’t seem justice was served.

They all needed to realize that sometimes life wasn’t fair, and there was nothing to be done about it.

“I’m perfectly fine, so don’t think about it again, okay?” Andrew said.