He walked past her without responding. He went straight to her living room and stopped in the middle, turning to face her. She stood behind the couch, resting her hands on the back, like she wanted something between them, or something to hold on to.

He tucked his hands into his front pockets. “I’ve been calling you all day.”

“I know.”

“Did you get in trouble at work?”

“No.”

“Lauren, please. Tell me what happened. Tell me I didn’t fuck everything up for you, and for us.”

She sighed and walked around the couch to sit down. “Kiara and Emma won’t say anything. No one else knows. They agree it’s questionable for me to be with you, and it just reminded me of the reasons why I was hesitant in the first place.” She blinked, a tear streaming down her cheek. “But I don’t think it matters, because even though I think you’re worth it, I don’t think we feel the same—”

“Lauren,” he choked out. He lurched forward and dropped to his knees in front of her. He took her hands in his. “Please, I beg you. Hear me. What I said, about you being a distraction—I didn’t mean it like it sounded. The second I saw your face I knew what you thought, and it nearly killed me.”

He pressed her palm flat against his firm chest, so she would feel his pounding heart. “What I meant was that I don’t know how I ever would have gotten through this without you. From the first time I saw you, you’ve been this bright light of beauty and joy, making this dark road bearable. When I’m so tired I can barely walk up the stairs to my apartment, or when I don’t eat for two days because my stomach is on fire…I think about you, and the next time I get to see you. I tell myself it’s worth it to push through, because not only do I want to see you at my next visit, I want to see you next month. Next year. Five years from now. When I want to quit, I tell myself it’s not an option, because I can see the life I want to live, and I want you to be in it. Beyond all this. Beyond chemo, and scans, and lab work every week that tells me I need to be careful who I see and what I do. I want to get past all this and for you to still be there, by my side.