‘Of course. Come on, let’s go and get dry. I don’t know about you, but I’m freezing.’

We dry ourselves beside the pool and dress quickly under the late afternoon sun.

‘So, what’s eating you, Hett? I knew you weren’t yourself.’

I check there is no one in earshot. Most of the girls are still in the pool. The few that are out are already dressed and making their way back to the campsite. Now is the time.

‘The thing is…’

I remember my promise to Walter that I wouldn’t tell a soul and Erna is a BDM leader. Even if she didn’t want to report us, she has the duty to do so. And knowing how seriously she takes it, she would see Walter just like everyone else.

As the enemy.

‘Hetty?’

‘Oh. You know. It doesn’t matter anymore. It’s… well no, I’ve changed my mind.’

Erna spreads her wet towel, slip and panties on the warm rock to dry.

‘All right then. Suit yourself.’ There’s hurt in her voice. ‘If you change your mind again, you know where to find me. I’m going to supervise the cooking.’

She strides towards the campsite and doesn’t wait for me.

Give me strength, oh great Führer, to resist temptation. I’m sorry for my depraved thoughts. Show me the way and I will follow. Wherever that takes me.

I will not go to meet Walter on Sunday. Consorting with a Jew is against every law and principle in the land. If we were caught together, Walter would risk being sent to a dreaded concentration camp, or worse, he might face a firing squad. Besides, I want to be good, honest and pure. My thoughts about Walter are disgusting. They sicken me. I want no more of them.

*

Later that evening, we sit around the campfire and sing songs. I sing with gusto, louder and louder, surrendering my soul to the music, closing my mind to all thoughts but the rhythm and words. By the time we reach the last, I feel cleansed. Refreshed. Filled with new vigour to be a better person, and put the weakness I suffered earlier behind me, forever.

We all stay in solidarity under our shining flag.

There we find ourselves as one people.

No one goes alone any more.

We all stay in duty to God, the Führer, and the blood.

Firm in conviction of faith, happy in work that each does.

We all want to be as one: Germany, you shall stay alight.

We will see all of our honour in your bright light.

7 August 1937

Erna lives on the top floor of an apartment block just off Kirchplatz. The flat isn’t large, but it is light and airy.

‘I’m so glad you could come!’ Erna grabs my hand and pulls me straight up the stairs to her bedroom. The ceiling slopes on both sides and four little dormer windows are punched through, peeking out under the overhanging eaves. I glance out at sweeping views over the treetops, roofs and chimneys of Leipzig.