I didn’t answer. He tossed his hair back again, and suddenly he’d put his hand over mine. I hadn’t felt it happen, and kept my eyes on our hands.

‘It’s just for you.’ He let go, but his hand remained in the air just above mine.

‘Did you see Carral?’ I asked again, but I didn’t get a reply; in that instant his tongue was in my mouth. I wanted to tear myself from him but his lips were clamped on mine, his tongue filled my whole mouth like a Spanish slug, antennas tickling the roof my mouth. I felt dizzy and tried to catch my breath, but both air and spit was sucked out of me and into his body and in return I got his sticky whisky taste down my throat. His arms grabbed me and held me tight. He closed his eyes. From the outside it must have looked calm, two people kissing each other quietly, but I know what happened inside of me, and I was suddenly afraid to be sucked into him and disappear.

Finally he let me go. I breathed heavily and touched my lips, resisting the urge to spit on the floor. Then I turned around and walked to the bar. I didn’t look back. Carral had seen the whole thing from her corner with the biology boys. She had turned her eyes to the bar, but from the tension in her body I could tell she was following my movements. Her fingers had seen what happened, her shoulders, her back and neck had seen it too.

Later that night, Franziska and I said goodbye with a nervous hug.

‘Jo, there’s a room free at ours, if you want.’

‘Why do you ask?’

‘Just in case. You said you don’t know what’s going on.’

She seemed a little anxious.

‘Thanks. Can I think about it?’

Franziska nodded and disappeared into the darkness. I looked around, but Carral was gone, Pym too, and I walked home alone with bated breath and steps that seemed to get me nowhere. Soon I saw the silo far off with the rock face behind it, the crag’s overwhelming concrete-coloured mouth.