"I'll sing and then you get the tape," I say wearily. "Then I'm out of here. I don't want to hear about meetings or work for the rest of the weekend," I tell my mom.

"And all future meetings should be cleared by me before we make them, okay?" Seth says, looking at Mom.

Mom is aghast. "I know I screwed up on this one, but my heart was in the right place," Mom says. "Kate-Kate needs me!"

"I need Seth, Mom," I say quietly. "This is his area of expertise."

"She's right, Meg," Seth says. "This is why you hired me. You have to trust that I know what Kaitlin needs."

"I know what Kaitlin needs," Mom says defiantly. "I'm her mother!"

"Yes, you're her mother," Seth repeats. "You're not an agent!"

Double whoa. I'm just as angry as Seth is, and probably more on his side than I am on Mom's, but if I don't rein them both in, TJ is going to walk in and freak out. I feel sort of dizzy and I have to sit down. My chest feels tight, but I have to get this out. "Everyone calm down," I say. "I'll sing, Seth will get the tape, and Mom will leave me alone for the weekend. We'll discuss the future after that."

"Okay," Mom agrees. "Whatever you want, sweetie. I know you're going to the Grove. You can take my black AmEx." I glare at her. Even retail therapy won't make up for the way I'm feeling right now. I'm tired of being bullied.

The door opens and TJ walks over with the tape recorder. He holds it out for me.

"Ready to sing it for me?" TJ asks. "Or should I say rap? We thought it would sound better if you were angry."

I take the cold tape recorder from his sweaty hands. "That won't be a problem," I say sweetly.

Saturday, January 31

PRINCESSLEIA25: Liz, where R U? If U get this, I'm on my way!

Seven: Tell Me How You Really Feel

"Rodney, can't you go any faster?" I beg, looking at my Movado watch for the hundredth time in minutes. Mom felt so guilty after hearing me sing that awful song that she let me go ahead with Rodney while she waited for another car for her and Seth. The two of them still weren't speaking when I left them standing in front of TJ's building. Seth was livid about me having to sing that song. (He said it was bad business to turn TJ down on the spot so he planned on calling him tomorrow to let him down gently -- and insist on getting my demo back.)

"Kates, Liz will understand," Rodney assures me. "You had meetings."

One awful meeting and one great meeting. I really liked the director of Manolos. That movie would be a great stepping stone for me, but I feel guilty thinking about it too much. I know it sounds silly, but part of me still feels like picking a new role is cheating on Sam. On the other hand, there's Mom, who thinks the project is all wrong for me. How could the two of us disagree that strongly on what's right for my future? I'm so confused. Maybe I'll feel better after I talk it out with Liz. I can't wait to tell her about the Vanity Fair party!