I shook my head, or at least I would have if I had one. I don’t know.

Well, when you’re done, bring Gally in to separate your construct from your conscious thought. Let him in, Rachel. Ignore the fact that he will see everything. Moment by moment, every little desire and hate you have, your soul sifting through his fingers as he pulls the construct free. What he doesn’t see might be left here, so let him entirely in, she thought, and I had a moment of perfect panic. It’s rather more intimate than pinning you to the wall for a kiss, she mocked.

I didn’t like this, but what choice did I have? It wasn’t as if Al hadn’t been in my thoughts before. Wait! I don’t know what to do! I thought as I felt her start to distance herself.

Newt’s consciousness swooped and dipped about mine, making me dizzy. Creating a collective thought real enough to touch is to prove you have the ability to shelter another soul within yours without absorbing it or accidentally changing what should not be changed. I felt a wave of melancholy come from her, dimming the stars. Do you know why demons are born able to twist curses? Their mothers curse them while still in the womb so they can defend themselves from birth. But it takes finesse to lay a curse within another’s soul while you’re sheltering it within your own. Making a tulpa and allowing another to exist freely in it is the same. It’s also why Algaliarept can’t remember what he looks like under all that prettiness he shows the world. He can’t pick out what is rightfully his and what his mother added. Beautiful, beautiful baby. I never had any, but if I had, I’d have made her look just like you.

It was starting to make sense. Making a construct would show I was fit to be a mother—a mother to demon children I would never have. So…what do I do? I asked, wondering if the demon who had helped Newt make that memory of an upscale bar was still alive, or if she’d killed him. Maybe it had been Minias.

Newt swam in circles around me, sending out ripples to the edge of the empty collective. I do so like it when no one is here. Quiet.

Newt? I prompted, and she returned.

Remember a place. Make it real in your mind. Fill the void here, and Al will separate it from you and make it real. That’s their part. All you have to do is let him in.

I had to trust him. Damn it! How did I get here? Just think of a place?

In my mind, it was as if I could see her bobbing in the water before me, silver stars running down her face like water drops. What do you miss the most? Now that you’re here forever?

What do I miss? I echoed, thinking immediately of Jenks, Ivy, and my church, but sharing that with the demons wasn’t going to happen. My garden in the sun. The sun I would never see again.