“Heh,” he said, taking another step back. “Has anyone ever told you you’re scary as hell when you want to be?”

“Lots of people. I’m in customer service.”

The sound of the door opening pulled us both from the conversation. We turned. The others had worked up the courage to walk along the pavement, where the land mines weren’t, and were stepping inside. As they did, they looked around with a familiar wide-eyed curiosity. Toni and David hung back, apparently studying the material used to construct the walls. Graham moved away from them, hurrying over to me.

“Hey,” he said.

“Hey,” I replied. “Feeling better?”

“Not really, but I’m feeling less irrational, and I’ll take it.” He turned to Jeff. “I didn’t thank you for bringing us to your home. It was extremely decent of you. So thank you. Now what the fuck do you think you’re playing at, putting live land mines in your yard?”

“How are you so sure they’re live?” asked Jeff. “I didn’t hear anything explode.”

“I’m taking your word for it,” Graham said. “If I can believe my girlfriend is a plant from space, I can believe you’re enough of an asshole to set land mines. Which are totally illegal, by the way. You could go to prison for a long, long time.”

“Since I just saved you from getting your ass disappeared to an unmarked government facility for the foreseeable future, how about we call it even?” Jeff folded his arms. “I have land mines because I am the vanguard of an invading species of alien plants, and I didn’t feel like getting dissected in the middle of the night. The land mines are illegal. They also keep people from dropping by uninvited and taking me away.”

“Now that’s a kind of alien abduction we don’t hear about all the time,” said Toni blithely, strolling over to join us. She looked Jeff up and down. “I don’t know you.”

“Okay,” said Jeff.

“You don’t understand. I know all of you in this area. I have pictures. I know where the bodies are buried. How come I don’t know you?”

“My flower bloomed on Oahu, if that helps.” Jeff shrugged. “I moved here to be isolated.”

Toni’s smile was brilliant. “Of course it bloomed on Oahu. That makes total sense. Volcanic ash must have been amazing for the growth cycle, and anyway, I knew you couldn’t be local.”

“I’m local now,” said Jeff. “What the hell do you mean, you know where the bodies are buried?”