“Still, I shouldn’t have to work hours for something I didn’t do. Besides, I don’t want people to associate me with Jonathan Wheeler. The guy’s a motherfucker.”

“Can’t you get your advisor to talk to the Dean?” Jane asked.

“No way. My advisor’s a space case.”

“So what? It’s his responsibility to defend you.”

“That’s irrelevant, your honor. Mr. Cole can’t deal on a practical level. It’d be too traumatic for the guy.”

“I’ll go with you. We’ll ease into him.”

“Jane, you can’t ease into a brick wall.”

That afternoon Jane dragged me to Cole’s apartment. He was on one of his highly combustible born-again highs. I expected as much. From what I’d been told, he was always either high as a kite or stuffed in a straitjacket somewhere in western Mass.

“As your advisor, it behooves me to instruct you to clean up your act and let this recent matter pass … but,” Cole said with a drugged smile, “as your friend and confidante, I say, ‘Go get ’em, Timothy!’”

“Okay,” I said and took Jane’s arm.

She wouldn’t budge. “Mr. Cole,” she said, “go get who?”

“Everyone!” he exclaimed. “Tim can win over the rest of the administration in the same ticklish manner he’s won me. Capture their hearts!”

“But what’s the point?” Jane asked. “He didn’t do anything.”

“The point is this, young lady: Take advantage of the connections available to you here. Do you realize that Mr. Mort and Mr. Funderburk are alumni of Brown University. They could get Timothy into that school at the drop of a hat if they wanted.”

“But I don’t want to go to college,” I said.

Cole grabbed a rag and started browsing through his bookshelf, dusting off random selections. I thought he was searching for a text to quote from but gradually I realized he was just spacing out. I’ve heard lithium does that to you.

I cleared my throat.

Cole looked surprised to see us standing behind him. Then he smiled. “So you don’t want to go to college? Well that could change quickly. You see, contrary to popular belief, Timothy, Mr. Mort is not impervious to reason. Talk to him. Work for him. Help him. You’d be surprised at how many of your fellow students do. And those are the ones who get good recommendations.”

“But I don’t need a good recommendation.”

“My final advice to you is to simply stay away from those other incorrigibles—every last one of them.”

Jane said, “You’re not even lis—”

“Now get out there and knock ’em dead!” Cole exclaimed. “You can make a difference.”

He practically plowed us to the door. “Remember, Timothy,” he said, “today is the first day of the rest of your life.”