When there was no reply, I hopped out of bed and turned on a light. She was sitting on Waltham’s old desk with her legs crossed. I was still groggy so instead of welcoming her I stood with my hands at my side.

“How’d you get here?”

“Walked.”

“Alone?”

“Yeah.”

I still didn’t understand.

“Did you really think I’d leave without saying goodbye?”

“Never occurred to me.”

We both smiled. The sight of a happy Jane just brought back old memories and made me feel lousy. Must’ve shown because she stopped smiling and walked up to me. Something was prodding me to tell her to take a hike, to be cold, mean. Sucker her for suckering me. Jane lifted her hand and I pulled her to me. I felt her breath on my face. She took off her boots, I turned off the light, and we lay on my bed, on our backs, apart. For a few minutes neither of us said anything. Jane spoke first.

“Are you still going out west?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because you were right,” I said. “I was just looking for the easy way out.”

“Sorry about all that stuff I said. Especially about S.D.”

“Don’t be. Most of it was true.”

“No it wasn’t. I was just mad at you when Rafferty told me about S.D. I guess I wanted to believe it. Then I heard how he set Irving up.”

I thought things over for a while and said, “Jane, I almost killed him.”

“I don’t blame you.”

“I mean really almost killed him. I had him up on the gutter, and I was going to push him off. At the last second I realized I was doing everything expected of me. Acting like a Rhode Island redhead and ruining my life.”

“Poor Irving,” she said.

“You know it had nothing to do with that.”

I rolled onto my side, facing the wall.

Jane put her hand on my back. “I didn’t know you then, Dunph. It’s … it’s like … I don’t have any excuses, except I didn’t know you then.”

She began to cry. I turned over and put my arms around her.

“It’s all right, Jane,” I said. “You’re right, we didn’t know each other.”

For the first time in my life I really understood my parents. I saw how you could love someone and still choose to leave them.

When Jane kissed my forehead, I closed my eyes and slept like a baby.

The cacophony in the dining hall during graduation breakfast reminded me of my intersection around dinner time. I hadn’t noticed when the traffic simmered down, but when I looked up I knew why. Dean Mort stood in front of my table.

“Couldn’t make it, eh Mr. Dunphy?”

I raised my eyebrows.

“Your father.”

Everyone at the table stared at me.

“No,” I answered.

“No what?”